UNLIKELY MATCH | HEESEUNG

28 - Still Waters Run Deep

HEESEUNG'S POV

A fucking wound in the stomach and the inability to race for a week wasn't what I had in mind for my weekend plans. But here I am, lying in my bed, IV drip attached to my arm, feeling like a helpless idiot. This wasn't part of the plan. I was supposed to be out there, tearing up the track, not lying here, unable to move without wincing in pain. I feel like a truck ran me over twice.

The room feels too quiet, too sterile. I want to be anywhere but here, trapped in this room with nothing but my thoughts for company. I would much rather work out and drive race through the track and be surrounded by the roar of engines and the adrenaline rush of competition. But instead, I need at least a week of rest. I can't help but feel frustrated, angry even, at the situation. 

This injury is more than just physical pain; it's a blow to my pride. The police officers couldn't find out who the person behind the attack was since they managed to escape without leaving any substantial evidence behind and it was too dark to see clearly. But I know who is behind all of this and even though I do, I have no evidence so I don't speak about it to anyone. Junseok's father has more power than I do, and accusing him without proof would only lead to more trouble.

I try to focus on my recovery, pushing myself to follow the doctor's orders even when every fiber of my being screams to get up and race. But I know that pushing myself too hard too soon could only make things worse. So, I try to be patient, to let my body heal at its own pace.

The door creaks open, and I turn my head to see Sena standing there, a hesitant smile on her lips. She looks tired, worn out from what happened two days ago, holding Raven in her arms. The cat jumps out of her arms and onto the bed, settling in my lap while purring softly. Sena follows suit, sitting beside me, her hand reaching out to stroke Raven's fur. "Hey," She says softly, her voice gentle as she looks at me with concern. I must have saved lives in my past life to have a woman like her worry about me the way she does. "How are you feeling?"

All I can focus on is her, the warmth of her presence, the concern in her eyes, the way her fingers brush against mine. I sigh, scratching behind Raven's ears absentmindedly. "Like shit, to be honest," I reply, managing a small smile. "But I'll survive. How about you? You look like you haven't slept in days."

Sena lets out a small, humorless laugh. "Well, you did get stabbed in the stomach. I think feeling like shit is an appropriate response." She looks down, her fingers playing with the edge of her shirt. "I probably haven't. It's been... rough. But I'm just glad you're okay."

"Are you really okay?" I ask, my tone softening as I reach out to gently cup her cheek, turning her face to meet mine. I can see the exhaustion etched into her features, the worry lines creasing her forehead. My heart aches at the sight. I've never seen her like this before, so vulnerable, so raw. And it's all because of me.

"I'm not okay," She admits, her voice barely above a whisper, and something inside of me twists at the sound of her pain. "But I will be, eventually." Her words hit me like a punch to the gut, and I can't help the guilt that makes its way through me. Sena shouldn't have to worry about me like this, but here she is, sitting by my side, offering me comfort when she's the one who needs it the most.

I reach out, taking her hand in mine, offering whatever comfort I can. "I'm sorry you had to go through all of that," I say sincerely. "If I could take it all back, I would." And I would, anytime and every time. If I could rewind time and prevent Sena from witnessing the horror of that night, I would do it without hesitation.

"Why are you apologizing?" She lets out a soft chuckle, though there's a hint of sadness in her eyes. "You couldn't have known what would happen and it's not your fault. I just hate that you had to go through all of that and... I hate that it reminds me of feeling so helpless and scared like when I fell into the lake at my grandparent's house and thought I was going to drown." Her voice falters and I freeze, wondering just what memory Sena is referring to. My heart is aching for her, for the fear that still lingers in her eyes.

"Sena," I whisper, my eyebrows slightly furrowing as I try to piece together what she's telling me. "What are you..."

She takes a shaky breath, her gaze flickering away for a moment before returning to meet mine. "It's nothing. Just... a childhood memory. But it's silly, really. I shouldn't let it bother me."

"It's not silly if it's something that still haunts you. Your feelings are valid, Sena. You don't have to minimize them for the sake of appearing strong. If there's anything you want to talk about, anything that's weighing on your mind, I'm here for you. Always." My voice is so gentle I could feel the weight of her sorrow in my own heart. "Come here." I gently pull her next to me, trying my best not to wince and show her just how much pain I'm in, and wrap my arms around her, holding her close. She rests her head against my chest, her breaths coming out in shallow, uneven bursts. 

"It was summer. I must have been around seven or eight. My grandparents had this beautiful cottage by the lake, and we used to spend every summer there. It was my favorite place in the world."

I listen intently and tighten my grip around her, my heart aching for the little girl she once was, for the innocence she lost along the way. 

"One day, I was playing by the lake, just a few feet away from the shore. I was so lost in my own little world that I didn't notice when suddenly I was in over my head in the water, struggling to stay afloat. I remember thrashing around, trying to scream for help, but no sound came out. I thought I was going to drown, that I was going to die right there, alone and terrified. But then my mother came and she pulled me out of the water. She held me in her arms and screamed but I was too young to understand. I thought she was angry at me... it's a memory that's haunted me ever since."

I can't find the right words to ease Sena's pain, to erase the scars left by her childhood trauma. And maybe there are no right words. Maybe what's right in all of this is simply being here, holding her close, offering my silent support as she shares her deepest fears and vulnerabilities with me. So, I tighten my embrace around her, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of her head, silently promising her that she's not alone, that I'll always be here for her, no matter what.

A few minutes later, she's sleeping like she hasn't slept in days, her breaths coming out in soft, even rhythms. She's beautiful, not the kind of beautiful all women aspire to be, but the kind of beautiful that only she can be, unique and genuine. It's in the way her face softens in sleep, the way her eyelashes flutter against her cheeks, the way her lips curve into a peaceful smile. 

I lean down and press a gentle kiss to Sena's forehead, my heart overflowing with love for this woman who has come into my life and changed it in ways I never thought possible. "I love you," I whisper, knowing that she can't hear me but needing to say the words out loud, if only to reaffirm them to myself.