Press Tour

four

Five Days until Press Tour

When I look at him I don't see Lucas.

I see six months of something I sought to bury so deep even the world's finest archeologist could never dig it up. I saw the past in the present, sitting on a wooden chair with a face of familiarity. For a moment I think I might turn and run, but then I settle on another emotion. One thicker and more isolating.

Indifference.

"Hello." My voice doesn't waiver like my pulse does. No, I keep it strong and steady.

I try and ignore the way I recognize how his hair has grown out, how his skin has darkened with a tan, and how I know he's acting.

Lucas and I spent six months together, learning one another. I had to make falling in love with him believable, and the only way to do so was to get under his skin. We saw each other as blank canvases that day, the end of our chemistry read marking the beginning of the painting. I knew just as he did, when he was acting and when he was not.

He might have fooled millions into making a career out of it, but he could never fool me.

As I sit in the seat across the table, across from him, I notice his touseled hair like he had run his hand through it over and over in nervous strokes. I notice the cuff of his white button-up undone and the thread poking out from his fingers working the button over and over.

He was acting but he could not hide his true reactions.

"I ordered some waters', hope you don't mind." His voice.

It was formal like he was sitting through a meeting with executives. He swallowed hard, my eyes following the movement of his throat. I try my best to be as indifferent as he is but it's an uphill battle that I'm slowly falling.

"No worries. Hope you weren't waiting too long."
Pleasantries, I could do pleasantries. This was just another role I had to play.

"Not at all."

An awkward silence settled around us. I picked up the menu just to give my hands something to do, give my racing pulse a moment to settle.

"So, how've you been?" He said it so casually, too casually. That hurt more than expected. Not seeing him again, not hearing of his relationship status, no. Nothing hurt quite like someone you know better than yourself speaking to you like a complete stranger.

"Great. You?" I answer, continuing to scan the menu even though I'm going to order the house salad. I wouldn't be able to keep a complete meal down with all these nerves.

"Really Vi," he sighs like I'm inconveniencing him. "I'm trying here. Can't we talk like normal?" I drop the menu on the table, the sound turning heads around us.

"This is us talking like normal?" What did he expect? Catching up like nothing happened? Pretending like the two of us aren't in the most awkward situation brought on by no one but ourselves? I wondered how he recovered so quickly and now I have my answer, he just pretended like none of it even happened.
He shakes his head and looks down before glancing up again, this time with a sad look in his eyes. I almost feel sorry for him, sorry for not sitting here and treating him like my best friend but that relationship ended long ago.