It Had To Be You

TWELVE

Both women spun around guiltily to see Eric Summers stood in the doorway, face like thunder, his thick winter coat opened to reveal his dog collar and black shirt. Jess felt the familiar terror that her father had induced in her all her life as his presence towered over them both.

She was the first to speak though, drawing strength from some unknown place, "hello father, I suppose this saves me visiting the church to find you!"

Without acknowledging her comment, he spoke, "I don't know what your mother has been telling you..."

Jess silenced him with a raised hand, "the truth! For once! She merely clarified a few points, things I didn't know when I was officially a charge in your care."

"We did what we did because we loved you!" he was flippant in his defence.

"Love?" Jess laughed. Suddenly she wasn't scared anymore; she'd beaten this man in so many ways. She stood to face her father. "Even if I waive the years of suppression when you tried to mould me into Mother bloody Teresa, there's how you treated me when I needed support the most. What did you do father? When I'd just lost my baby?"

Her father suddenly flushed, and she could see that his anger was tinted with humility, maybe even regret.

"You sent me away and made Alex's life hell Dad, you ruined everything. What parent does that? Shun their child?"

Any weakness that she'd seen in her father had disappeared, "no daughter of mine is bringing up a bastard child in my house! It's wrong, it's immoral..."

Jess suddenly saw red; she had the immediate desire to see Alex. He was right, SO right, and they needed to talk, she was getting nowhere here, "there was no bastard child. Don't you get that?"

"There would've been if God hadn't acted."

Pain lanced her chest at his words; he truly meant that, "Oh my God! You think that's a blessing don't you? You don't care about how much I was hurt, that the baby was your grandchild! You just care that the problem was 'dealt' with." She was inches from his face now, her nostrils flaring, eyes wide, anger emanating from every pore. "Well the joke is well and truly on you. I was married to Alex Pattison Dad, I still am!"

"That worthless bastard creating another bastard! What is the world coming to?"

Jess had to fight to resist hitting him, she wanted to hurt him for all the hurt he'd instilled on her...and Alex, she acknowledged. "The baby wouldn't have been illegitimate, we were married. But regardless of 'what' it was the one thing it would definitely have been was your grandchild, your only link to the future. After today you will never see me or any future members of this family again."

She picked up her coat, "I'm going to try and apologise for your actions to Alex, and maybe, just, maybe I can get over this hideous mess once and for all."

"You can't go Jess, please." It was her mother.

She turned face the devastated woman and took her hands, "I need to go and see Alex. I've got to apologise..."

Her mother ran after her to the door, "you'll call?"

Smiling she hugged her mother, "yes I will, I promise. But I can't come here again mother, you understand that? But come to see me? Any time?"

Her mother nodded, batting away tears as she watched her daughter walk away...again.

Jess drove back to the City like a banshee, but as she approached her home, she suddenly realised that she had no address for Alex. She had no idea where he was staying. She wanted to speak to him, in person, not over the phone, she needed the chance to see his face, to explain, to hear his story, and for him to hear hers. She wanted to apologise to tell him he was right, and that she was wrong, that her whole family was wrong.

In the whole confusion of Alex reappearing, she hadn't done more than have his mobile number; she didn't know where he was living, either when he was in London, or in the States. It seemed to sum up the frenetic nature of the relationship they'd always had. Gutted to be going home her intentions unfulfilled, she thumped the steering wheel, then thought about the one link she had to Adam - Eve!

Her friend picked up on the third ring, "Do you know where Alex would be staying?" She spoke before Eve managed a 'hello'.

"Hi best friend Eve, sorry I haven't been around for a few days! But I still love you!" Evelyn answered sarcastically, but not nastily.

Jess grinned, so thankful that she had a practical and reliable best friend, "Hey Eve! Sorry I've been absent, but I've been to my parents tonight and now I need to speak to Alex."

"Shit Jess!" Jess could almost hear her friend's jaw hit the floor, "I can't even imagine what that means, you ok? Need Auntie Evelyn to come over?"

It was such a welcoming thought to lose herself in her comfortable, familiar and reliable friendship, it was the sanctuary to compensate for the rest of her life, but right here, right now, she had to see Alex, whilst it was all still fresh in her mind, "Aren't you out gallivanting with some hot men?"

Eve laughed, "the only good looking man I know is married to my best mate!"

"Touché!" Jess sighed, "I'm sorry Eve, this has been such a one sided friendship for SO long! It's just I'm in such a crisis at the moment!"

"No shit! Mom and Dad? So where do things stand with Alex?"

Jess sighed, flopping into her Chesterfield armchair, "he walked out cos I refused to rake over the past, despite how much I've sworn I'd not give him an inch until I had my say. But as he went he hinted at my parents being more involved in all that happened than I realised..."

"No real surprise there then! So you went to see them?" Evelyn was not the least shocked.

Jess closed her eyes and sighed, "oh yes. Mother was remorseful and grateful I'd arrived, then my manipulative, evil father arrived and thanked the Lord that my baby died."

There was a prolonged silence from the phone until Eve finally answered, "shit. Way to go Dad of the year! You ARE so much better off without him, and if she can't stand up for you her too."

Jess laughed, "I'm past upset, past surprised Eve, I just need to talk to Alex, finally!"

She could almost hear Eve thinking out loud, "there are some company owned apartments in....um....." she was obviously racking her brain, "Devonish Street. Do you know it? Near the park? He may be there; it's the only place I can think of that is a possibility. Why don't you phone him? He can tell you where he is!"

"Because I'm too scared, and we might fight...I can't chicken out!"

So half an hour later, still in her luminous green work van emblazoned with her company name, 'Summer Days, Outdoor Rooms' in cerise pink along the side, she was parked across the road from the address Eve had given her unsure what to do next. It gave her a lot of time to think, and that was dangerous, given how fraught she was feeling.

Her emotions swirled between all the people in her life, hatred for her father, disappointment at her mother, and then Alex. How did she feel about him? She'd spent years hating him, there was still the factor of Paula Sims, that hadn't been dealt with, but on the other hand, nothing else about that time was right, she'd learned that tonight. She didn't know what to say or think.

And now she was sat in a pitch black street, alone, in the cold - other than the straining heaters of the van that were spewing out warm air, listening to a garbage local radio station - the only frequency that her defunct car stereo could pick up, waiting for someone who may never appear. Crazy behaviour, but she suddenly knew that he was worth it! Alex Pattison was worth the risk.

She was almost a sleep when a knock on the car window to her right jolted her, scaring her half to death. Turning she came eye to eye with a livid Alex. With a smile, anticipating an awesome fight....again, she stepped out into the street.