Disfigured Violets

Chapter Five

Devin

Fourteen years ago...

Everyone was sitting around the table as mommy brought out my birthday cake. I couldn't stay still in my seat. I was so excited especially since mommy said she got my favorite flavor of cake, chocolate raspberry. I kept hopping up on my knees in anticipation, "mommy hurry, hurry."

"Calm down sweetie, mommy is bringing your cake," daddy tried to sit me down as she finally made her way to the dining room.

"If you took any longer then Devy would've fell out of her seat," Rowan snickered, I stuck my tongue out at him,

"Meanie. And stop calling me Devy."

"Both of you, shush before momma doesn't give either of you cake," Jackson rolled his eyes at us.

"It's my birthday. Of course, I'm getting my own birthday cake."

Mommy sat the cake in front of me and pulled out her camera, "Okay, before we sing to you baby, let's take a quick photo." I groaned because I just wanted to get it over with and eat but I nodded in compliance.

"Finee," Jackson and Rowan got closer and so did daddy, mommy peered over the camera, smiling.

"Say cheeeese," the camera flashed, "okay, let's sing before Dev gets impatient." Mommy and daddy chuckled, and they all began singing to me.

Shortly after, we were all enjoying the cake and mommy kept taking more pictures, she always took photos of us, she admired the memories. "Rowan, stop it," I took a piece of my cake and smeared it on him as he did on me.

"Hey," he squinted at me, "it was only funny when I did it to you." Rowan grabbed more cake before his dad grabbed his wrist.

"Rowan, stop it, you are going to clean all this up." Rowan grumbled under his breath and went to clean himself up. I giggled at him being reprimanded and I went to clean myself up too. I loved the cake but not that much. When I arrived back to my seat Jackson and mommy were giggling, I hurried over to see the pictures they were looking at.

"What? What happened?" I looked down at the photo, all I saw was Rowan smushing cake on me, I laughed alongside them.

I gripped the photo harshly until I heard a small cracking noise. I cursed under my breath as I set the frame down, a small crack now sat at the bottom right corner of the glass. "Ah shit. Fuck it," I sighed and sat down on the couch, the sun rose, peering through the pearly white curtains. I was hoping no one would catch me up this early, especially because I didn't want to seen in such a state, even if today would be rough. I was already sick of people seeing me in such weak moments. It couldn't have been rougher than the last few days. I took a few minutes just to sit and breathe, preparing myself for all the damn fucking sorrys and 'are you okay's. I was tired of hearing it, all the pity, but I couldn't blame anyone because I would do the same if someone else had gone through what we did. The repetitiveness of those words every, single, year, was exhausting.

I finally got up and made myself some coffee, which was much needed. I didn't always wake up at the ass crack of dawn, but today was always a day that threw my routine off.

It had been exactly twelve years since dad had committed suicide.

I always felt and acted off around this time; who the fuck would blame me? Who would be all peppy and happy about their fucking father leaving this Earth on his own accord, leaving his children and their mother alone.