❛ WORDS I CAN'T SAY, I WRITE TO YOU ❜
( 愛. ) aventurine had always been a charmer, his words captivating, deceptive, tempting. but when it comes to you, all of it crumbles, and the words of love so unfamiliar to his tongue, he writes to you instead...
i'll be there, behind you who walks alone singing till the end, this song will be endless take a big breath for you who forgot how to cry aloud... i'll sing
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there are nights when i see it in your eyes – that flicker of darkness, when you revisit those old wounds. it breaks my heart to see you doubting yourself, picking apart the scars that are a part of you. know this, aventurine – when you hurt, i hurt too. but i won’t turn away. in this tangled mess, i’ll be with you, choose you over someone easy to love, every single time.
love, y/n
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aventurine jolted awake, another nightmare clinging to his senses like a shroud. the sheets felt damp with cold sweat, the familiar tremble in his hands a stark reminder of the horrors his mind relived each night.
the bedside lamp cast a warm glow onto the remnants of his untouched glass of wine. the sight of the deep red liquid sent a wave of nausea through him. too similar, too much of a reminder of another shade of red, the one that had stained the sand, the one he could taste at the back of his throat, even years later.
he stumbled toward the bathroom, desperate to rid himself of the phantom taste. in the mirror, his eyes met the reflection of the commodity code on his neck. a permanent brand of his past as a slave. a reminder of a time when he was merely worth 60 tanba, and aventurine believes that didn’t change. despite all the luxury, he was still bought by a few, measly coins.
he sank to the floor, breath rasping in his chest. doubt gnawed at his resolve. how could he deserve someone like you? you, who woke night after night to his restless stirrings, who held him without question, who saw past the facade he so carefully maintained. your patience, your warmth, was something aventurine thought he would never feel again the moment his remaining family died.
he wasn't enough. how could he be, when his past clung to him like a stain, his nights—and sometimes, even days—a torment he dragged you into? he should be protecting you, not becoming a burden you bore without complaint.
a sluggish arm wrapped around his shoulders, pulling him into a loose embrace. you mumbled sleepily, voice thick with concern, "it’s okay, don’t hide. with me, you’re a blessing, not a burden.”
he could only nod, burying his face in the crook of your neck. you were always like this, you didn't pry, didn't demand a story he didn’t want to relive, didn’t grow tired of him. slumped together on the cold bathroom floor, you held him, a silent pillar of strength. your quiet understanding was something he didn’t know he needed, when all he received was judgement and contempt.
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𝖑𝖆𝖎. not proofread. two updates yay! one more letter, then ending + extra bonus letters during your pre-relationship with aventurine.
i'm coping because 100 tickers and it got me e4 yanqing at 78 pity, like ??? i'm sorry but it's so hard not to hate this mf ;-; e4?!?! he also ruined my e3 dan heng il pulls (: 54 now and no aven yet i'm sobbing ;;; i also want his lc and i'm v sad guys. i'm just venting, don't mind me.
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