Chronicles Of My Darling Husband

32. Pratisthana (Part 2)

'Any word from your buddy about his big decision?'

Devika mused, her fingers tapping over her phone screen. A surge of doubt swept over her as she weighed whether to hit send.

Should I send him?

Since their jaunt to Sinhagad Fort, chatter between her and Jaggy's pal Mr. Baggy had dwindled to silence. Each time she considered reaching out, memories of his hand over her cheek resurfaced, freezing her hand mid-air. Chandrakant could be all things sexy, but Devika comprehended his desire for something deeper than just fucking her, something she wasn't prepared to offer.

Why?

The prospect of commitment unsettled her profoundly.

Growing up in a dysfunctional family had left Devika with a complex web of emotions and beliefs that colored her perspective on relationships. The constant strife, emotional volatility, and lack of stability had shaped her understanding of love and commitment in profound ways.

Love, in her family, was more often a weapon than a balm. Arguments would spiral into shouting matches, with affectionate gestures few and far between in the chaos. Watching her parents' toxic prom had instilled in Devika a deep-seated fear of intimacy, convincing her that emotional entanglements only led to heartache.

Moreover, her upbringing had instilled in her a fierce sense of self-reliance and independence. Surviving in the midst of constant tension had taught her to rely solely on herself for stability and support. Depending on someone else for happiness seemed unfathomable, a direct contradiction to the resilience she had built in response to her tumultuous childhood.

Ultimately, Devika's reluctance to commit stemmed from a primal fear of repeating the patterns of dysfunction that had plagued her family for generations. She was determined to break free from the cycle of pain and disappointment, even if it meant sacrificing the possibility of finding genuine love and connection.

But...

Somewhere in her thoughts, Devika toyed with the idea that while Chandrakant might have looked flirtatious, he wasn't exactly one to walk away easily. There was this stubborn streak in him, a refusal to let things slip through his fingers without a fight. It was like she was caught in this cosmic tug-of-war: either she'd spend eternity pining for him, or she'd be consumed by the fiery passion he ignited within her, unable to quench the flames.

It was a bit like dancing on the edge of a cliff, really. On one side, there was this thrilling anticipation of surrendering to Chandrakant's allure, letting the whirlwind of passion sweep her away. But on the other side lurked the sobering reality of heartbreak and emotional turmoil.

Caught between the intoxicating temptation of passion and the sobering reality of potential despair, Devika found herself teetering on the edge of a precipice. In Chandrakant, she saw both the promise of ecstasy and the potential for heartache, leaving her ensnared in a whirlwind of conflicting emotions.

Don't send that message!

With a decisive swipe, Devika erased the message, tucking her phone back into her jacket as she revved up her bike. She understood that for Jagdish and Nishita to find happiness together, she needed to keep her distance from Chandrakant. For her peace, for everyone's peace, she had to deny herself any contact with Mr. Baggy.

In her mind, Devika painted a vivid scene of Jagdish and Nishita enveloped in the warm glow of their budding love, their laughter cascading like a melody through the air, a symphony of happiness that echoed in her soul. Despite the ache of longing that tugged at her heartstrings, she understood that her place was on the sidelines, watching their love story unfold like a captivating drama on a distant stage.

As the miles stretched out before her like ribbons of asphalt unfurling beneath her wheels, Devika resolved to chart her own course through the labyrinth of life's uncertainties. She knew she would encounter winding roads fraught with loneliness and shadows of self-doubt, yet she vowed to navigate them with the grace of a Kathak dancer twirling through a moonlit stage.

For Devika, true happiness was a treasure buried beneath layers of sacrifice and compromise, a pearl of wisdom waiting to be unearthed amidst the depths of her own journey. And though the path ahead may be shrouded in mist and uncertainty, she embraced it with the courage of a sailor setting sail into uncharted waters, trusting that every wave would lead her closer to the shores of her own fulfillment.

You are just a dream, a passing phase of my life, Kant...

--

A/N

Probably, now there's a clear picture about why Devika is like this, her views are derived from her traumas of growing up in a dysfunctional family.

For some reason, I found "Kyun" fitting the whole vibe of this chapter.

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