The Girl Who Wanted to Wear Diapers

Chapter 27: Doctor's Orders

"Protection."

The implications of that single word didn't immediately strike me. What exactly was Dr. Mathorn talking about? It was Mom's reaction to my pediatrician's suggestion that caused me to put two and two together.

"No offense, Dr. Mathorn, but that's a bit ridiculous," Mom said. "No teenager would want to wear that to bed. I already promised Maddy that I wouldn't make her wear them."

I had never heard the word protection used to refer to a diaper or pull-up before, but there could be only one thing that would mean. Like the phrases "absorbent underwear" or "nighttime underwear," it was another way to way to refer to a diaper that was intended to be less embarrassing.

Mom's reaction was disappointing, but not in any way surprising. It seemed as though my parents had done everything but purchasing diapers for me as they sought to deal with my recent bedwetting. Of course, she would have to respond that way to Dr. Mathorn's suggestion.

"I don't know about that," Dr. Mathorn said. "A bedwetting accident is going to be embarrassing regardless of what steps you're taking to clean up or contain the mess."

Dr. Mathorn turned back to face me. "I'm not saying you should feel embarrassed about the accidents you've been having at night, Maddy. You shouldn't need to feel bad about something that isn't your fault, though it is normal for it to be an upsetting experience when your body isn't behaving the way that you would like it to."

"I just don't see how that is a good solution to her bedwetting," Mom said. "We've already got a waterproof mattress, and Maddy is more than capable of making sure her bedding gets washed and changed whenever there is an accident."

"Those are certainly ways to handle it," Dr. Mathorn said. "But letting her wear some protection to bed would make cleanup a lot easier and allow Maddy to get a full night of sleep, which is still extremely important for teenagers as they develop. It's not going to be good for her to have her sleep constantly interrupted for however long the bedwetting may continue."

"I'm not making my teenage daughter wear diapers to bed," Mom said.

There it was. The word that both my mom and the doctor had avoided saying so far in this conversation.

"That's not what I'm saying," Dr. Mathorn said. "I wouldn't ever suggest forcing a teenager to wear a diaper to bed if they didn't want to. But I think that Maddy's opinion about all of this is what is important. She's the one who is having to deal with a wet bed nearly every night."

Both Mom and Dr. Mathorn turned from their argument to look at me.

"You've been unusually quiet," Dr. Mathorn said to me. "What do you think?"

This was it. I could have everything I wanted, but it would require an admission that it was, in fact, what I wanted.

There was a large kernel of truth to Mom's objections. She was absolutely right. Girls my age weren't supposed to want to wear diapers. Someone else in my situation would have to be extremely apprehensive, at best, about a doctor's suggestion of protection.

Dr. Mathorn was right about the issue of missing sleep, though it wasn't playing out like she thought it was. Having to stay up until everyone was asleep to wet the bed and toss clothing in the laundry had often left me rather tired the next day.

"Um. Um."

I looked back down at my feet. Saying yes would have to mean admitting what I wanted. Could I do that in front of them?

This was the final test. I had to make it clear that I was willing to wear diapers without making it seem like I was in any way looking forward to doing so. I thought back to all the preparations I had previously been making for the possibility of having to bring up the topic of those pull-ups directly with Mom.