The Girl Who Wanted to Wear Diapers

Chapter 28: It Couldn't Be Wrong

I stared at the package of pull-ups I had set on the bed. It was the worst type of disappointment, the kind that comes completely as a surprise shortly after being certain that success was inevitable.

For the shortest time this morning, I had been certain that I was going to get what I wanted. My gambit with Dr. Mathorn had paid off, as I managed to prompt her to bring up the topic of protection, which I was then able to tentatively accept over my mom's objections.

On the drive from the hospital to the store, all I could think of was of the pull-ups I had worn briefly at Emma's place. That Mom would have multiple options to choose from was inconceivable. And of course she had managed to choose the wrong one.

And the worst part of it was that I wasn't sure how I was supposed to correct this situation. How was I supposed to convey to her that she needed to switch to my preferred brand of pull-ups?

I tried to think on the bright side. Perhaps these pull-ups Mom had purchased for me would fit as comfortably as the others I had tried. Perhaps they would perform as well when I wet them in bed later tonight. Perhaps they would be capable of satisfying that itch that had begun three years ago.

I walked over to the window and watched as Mom pulled out of the driveway. Here I was. The entire house to myself. Grace had gotten herself a summer job, with hours during the day, unlike previous summers when she had been forced to stick to working evenings as my parents hadn't wanted to leave me home alone. Her eight-hour shift would have her arriving home in our old minivan around the same time that Mom and Dad finished with work and picked up Jackson from his day camp on the way home.

As I had left to head upstairs with the pull-ups, Mom had given me one final reminder of the chores that she and Dad expected me to have done by the time everyone was home for dinner. The cat litter still needed to be cleaned, my laundry needed to be done, and I was supposed to empty all the garbage cans and take them out to the garbage bin in the garage.

I picked up the package of pull-ups to examine them one last time before returning downstairs to eat my lunch. But I didn't discover much more information than the cursory glance I had given the package before. Aside from not being specifically for girls and having boring designs, the notes on the package touted the same basic features that I'd seen in ads for the pull-up brand I had been coveting. I checked the information about the sizing and found that I was squarely in the middle of the size range for the pull-ups.

I managed, though just barely, to avoid ripping open the package of pull-ups right then and there. That wouldn't do. I couldn't risk Mom thinking I was actually that eager to wear them on the off chance that she noticed what I'd done. I debated for a moment about where to put the pull-ups, then decided that the underwear drawer at the top of my dresser was the most suitable location.

That decision elicited a small laugh. It brought to mind the phrase that Hannah had used to describe her pull-ups. She had referred to them as absorbent underwear.

I shut the dresser drawer with a sigh. Tonight couldn't come quickly enough.

But there were other fun things that I could still do in the meantime.

I walked down the stairs nervously. It was hard to explain, but I could somehow just feel that the house was empty, and not empty in the sense that someone had stepped out and would be back in a minute, but the kind of solitude that came from having a place to myself without any interruptions for the next five hours. And I wouldn't be leaving. My parents had made it clear that I was to remain in the house and not leave or let anyone in unless it was an emergency.

My half-unpacked lunch of chicken strips and fries was sitting on the kitchen counter. I took the lunch with me to the living room, but not before grabbing a Harry Potter book to read. I hadn't had a chance to ask Dad to reverse the block on the fan fiction website Hannah had told me about, so for now, I would need to continue with reading the real thing.