Silent Mind (z.h)

F I F T E E N

I didn’t want to say a word to that boy; I didn’t have any to give him. I felt so empty, lost, heartbroken, angry… all because of him.
He was next to me, to close to me…

The time had flown and I guessed we spent the whole day in that car.
When the sun was about to set behind the trees we passed by, that’s when I knew he wasn’t going to let me go.

I didn’t want to say a word to that boy but, I had to
“Why?” I forced out, my throat dry.
I guess I already knew half of the answer to that question, but I still couldn’t believe why he would do all of this evil things, because of me.

“I love you” was all he said.
“No you don’t” I ensured him and took a deep inhale. The tears had stained my cheeks but there were no more left to cry. Like I said, I was empty.

“Oh but I do angel” He smiled and stroke his hand on my leg. I couldn’t squirm away, but I wanted to.
“You never hurt the people you love Zayn… and you have hurt..- no scarred me for life” I sighed.

“All I did was to protect you” He hissed and squeezed a grip on the leg he seconds ago caressed with love.
“From what? All I need protection from is you… you are the bad guy Zayn, you are the villain” I said and leaned my head against the car window.
“Well, then I guess the superheroes doesn’t always win ey?” Zayn was angry now, but I couldn’t care less.

I wanted him to be angry, the maybe he would kill me.
“Oh but they do” I ensured him and closed my eyes. The grip around my leg loosened and Zayn put his both hands on the steering wheel.

After at least two more hours of driving, Zayn stopped. I fluttered my eyes open and before me was an old house, probably a summerhouse.
Zayn walked around the car and opened my door. I looked up at him and for a second we just looked at each other, glaring with hatred glowing in at least my eyes. His eyes were empty, motionless.

He roughly pulled me out of the car and inside of the house. It was a simple and normal-sized house with nice furniture and a modern kitchen. Zayn pulled me directly inside of the bedroom with a two sized bed in an ordinary bedroom.

He shoved me down on the sheets and unbuttoned his shirt. I lay there on my back, looking up at the ceiling, praying for anyone up in heaven… God? Josh? Chad? …. Harry?
I felt Zayn’s weight on top of me but decided not to look at him, he didn’t deserve anything from me.

But I wasn’t going to plead and beg for mercy, Maybe I was to empty, maybe to proud.
Zayn started to untie my legs and ankles, and I knew exactly why.
“Let’s see if superman comes for you tonight angel” Zayn whispered into my ear. I felt the urge to cry, but I forced myself not to.

He unbuttoned my trousers and pulled them down to my ankles. I didn’t want to kick, what different did it make?
He pulled down my boxers too and I was now naked from waist to kneecaps.

Zayn appeared face to face with me, his eyes glowing with lust.
“You are so beautiful angel…” He mused and crashed his lips unto mine. He demanded entrance and gained it immediately since I didn’t resist.

He explored my mouth with his tongue, biting down on my lower lip harshly. I could sense blood but he decided to suck that up.
I kept my eyes on the ceiling, anywhere but his eyes.

He stroked his hands everywhere, inside of my shirt on my chest and up and down my restricted arms.
He abandoned my lips and turned me on my stomach with a jerk. I knew the time had come …
“I love you Niall” He said and pain struck through me… no, not his dick, no… so much more.

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With my head down in the pillow with Zayn on top of me for over 20 minutes I felt the tears began to fall. He didn’t love me… he couldn’t.
He had cumed minutes ago and was now just doing it for fun. I snorted as the tears kept falling.
He pulled out and turned me around again, he saw my tearstained face but only smirked down with pity.

“How dare you?...” I hissed and finally found the courage to meet his eyes.
“How DARE you destroy my life” I spat out with venom drenched over the words.
He just looked down on me and I think I could sense an inch of guilt in those hazel orbs.

“I hate you soooo much” I hissed before pulling apart my wrists for the last time that evening, freeing myself from the tape. I had worked with it while Zayn raped me and I was now going to escape.
I punched him in the face, making him fall back and roll down on the floor. I quickly got up and pulled my boxers and trousers up as I ran out the room.

I ran out the front door and towards the forest, I heard him scream for me behind me but… I wasn’t going to let him have me… I wasn’t going to be quiet, no… I was going to be loud.

“HELP ME!”

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I ran through the dark and narrow forest, ducking and jumping to find a way home.
My mind was racing and I got a flashback;

(“Hey Josh, what’s the matter?” I asked the shy boy in the corner of the gym hall. It was prom and he was standing all on his own while the rest were dancing on the dancefloor.
“I just… I don’t feel like dancing that’s all” He replied me and smiled. I didn’t buy it.

”Oh Josh you are missing out on a great song, can you hear it?” I asked him and went silent to let him find the answer.
“It’s Coldplay … fix you, I know you know that it is my favorite song” Josh chuckled but didn’t get to say no more.

“I won’t let you stand here when Coldplay is singing, this is a moment of magic” I said and pulled him into the crowd.
"Wow Niall you always save me" Josh chuckled.

I pushed him into a girl from our math class and she turned and faced him.
Josh didn’t say anything but when the girl smiled, I could sense the spark in him, even though I didn’t see it on the outside.)

I knew now that Josh wanted to dance with me that night. How he wanted to NOT miss out on a great song with his best friend that he also was in love with.
I hated myself for being so oblivious… I hated him for not telling me and I hated that song for being played…

(“Hey I think I got one!” I yelled and looked at the other boys in the fishing boat.
Harry and Liam looked at me with eyes of excitement and met my panicked ones.
“Well then, come on crank it up!” Liam chuckled and Harry slowly got on his feet to help me.

I pulled and cranked and the fish just wouldn’t give up.
Harry sat down next to me in the small boat and helped me by holding the fishing rod on my hands.

“C’mon we can’t let him win!” Harry cheered and I laughed while we pulled it up. A big pike flew up on the boat and all of us laughed at the success.
“You won Niall, you won!” Harry smiled and embraced me.)

I came back to reality, tears decorating my entire face as I ran. Harry Styles…
I stopped when I saw a road in front of me, a real road that could lead me home. I ran up on it and looked both ways and I remembered it. I knew which way to go.

“C’mon we can’t let him win!”

“No Harry I know, we can’t and I know we won’t”

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Here you go another chapter. To the once that actually reads it and finds it good, thank you for the support and the votes and comments. To those who only keep telling me to update, you should get out of here now... cause I am not listening to you, I am having a hard time with my life as it is with people telling me what to do. 

I am sorry, but I just want my readers to love my stories and tell me why and how much.
Not only "UPDATE" cause it makes no sense to me why if you won't tell me why.