She Crossed That Bridge

20

CHAPTER TWENTY

Worth the heartbreak . . .

THEY tossed the rope to me, and I gave it some slack. I gave them the thumbs up to tell them I was ready to go. I heard the boat shift into gear and it pulled me.

The annoying feeling of water inside my nose was just a reminder that I jumped off the water the wrong way.

Ito talaga ang isa sa mga ayaw ko kapag lumulublob ako sa tubig. Ang sakit sa ilong kapag namali ka ng paghinga o pagsinghot. Bakit ko nga ba kasi sininghot 'yong tubig? Tch!

The boat drove back around, Zeke tossed the rope to Nico, and it was his time to try it. He took a minute to contain himself.

I could hear them on the deck cheering for Andrew. He took a deep breath and gave us the thumbs up.

I heard the boat shift. Then it pulled him.

No'ng mapagod kami pare-pareho, bumalik kami sa picnic table at nagpahinga.

Napalingon pa ako kay Nico dahil sa biglaan niyang paghawak sa kamay ko.

"What?" he whispered.

"Part of the plan," he added, shrugging nonchalantly. Napatingin tuloy ako kay Helix pero napasimangot lang ako dahil hindi naman siya nakatingin sa 'kin.

***

I lay in my bed, staring at the ceiling.

Today was exhausting but fun.

I noticed that Helix wasn't looking at me. He was even not interested in having a conversation with me. Maybe he didn't really like me at all that's why he didn't hesitate to reject me when we were in Realgorez.

Hey, thanks for the help. But I think Ger's right. This is not going to work out. Hel is obviously not interested in me at all.

I sent it to Nico. I waited for his reply, but I heard a weird noise coming from my window. I shot a glance at it, but my eyes widened when Hel suddenly got inside my room by the window.

"Jesus, Helix," reklamo ko habang nakahawak sa dibdib ko. Sino ba namang hindi magugulat, bigla-bigla ba namang may pumapasok sa bintana ng kuwarto ko.

Kinuha niya 'yong upuan malapit sa study table ko saka siya umupo roon.

"What was that for, Park?" kunot-noong tanong niya sa 'kin. Nanatili lang akong nakipagtititigan sa kanya. Ano bang tinatanong niya? At ano bang ginagawa niya rito nang ganitong oras?

"What?" I said, getting up from my bed to sit on the couch.

"You and Nico." He paused, clenching his jaw. "Flirting all day in front of me."

Natigilan ako. So, napansin niya naman pala. Pero bakit kung makaasta siya buong araw ay parang hindi niya naman napansin? Napakagulo niya talaga. Ang hirap basahin ng tumatakbo sa isip niya.

Hindi ako kumibo at nanatili lang na nakatitig sa kanya. Hindi ko rin naman alam ang isasagot ko. Para saan pa ba? Bakit ba kami nag-uusap nang ganito? Wala naman siyang pakialam sa 'kin.

"Are you trying to make me jealous?" He scoffed.

I looked away to avoid his eyes. I didn't know what to say.

I knew what he's thinking right now.

He thinks I'm too desperate and . . . cheap.

Hindi ko naman siya masisisi kung gano'n ang tingin niya sa 'kin.

"Well thanks for that, Park. I just realized how annoying it was to watch another guy touch you."

Agad akong natigilan at mas lalong napatitig sa kanya. Para akong nabingi dahil sa sinabi niya.

Nagseselos ba siya? Pero bakit? Akala ko ba hindi siya interesado sa 'kin?

"Do you really think that getting into a relationship with me is worth it? Be smart, Shin. You shouldn't be dreaming of dating me. I have fucking cancer," madiin niyang sabi kaya mas lalo akong natahimik.

Walang salitang lumalabas mula sa bibig ko.

Tinitigan ko lang siya at sinubukan kong basahin kung ano mang tumatakbo sa isip niya.

Does he want me to stay? Or does he want me to go away?

Hindi ko na rin talaga alam kung ano ba ang iniisip niya. Sobrang hirap niyang basahin.

I flashed him a small smile. "Give yourself a chance, Helix. Having a cancer doesn't mean you don't deserve to be happy at all."

He let out a small sigh after hearing what I've just said.

"Do you really want this?" tanong niya. "Do you really want 'us' to happen? I'm too hard to handle. I'm fighting against cancer. Most of the time, I'm the worst version of myself. Do you really want that?" His voice cracked. "Lugi ka, sa totoo lang," dagdag niya pa.

Napangiti lang ako saka ako naglakad papalapit sa kanya.

Bahagya akong yumuko at hinalikan siya sa pisngi niya.

"Let me help you win this fight, Helix Guatamyel."

I knew there's a huge possibility that I'll end up having a broken heart, but I knew I won't regret it.

He's worth the chase. He's worth the fight. He's worth the heartbreak.

***

"ARE you still undecided about where to go to college and what to major in?" tanong ko kay Helix habang nagpapalaman ako ng tinapay.

"Yeah. I think I'm just going to take any courses and see what interests me. Puwede naman akong mag-shift anytime. And why are we talking about college? I dropped out of school, Park."

Natawa ako nang sabihin niya iyon saka ko inilagay sa plato niya 'yong egg sandwich.

"How's your brother doing? Still obsessed with protecting you from everything and everyone?" pagbibiro niya kaya lalo akong natawa at umiling.

"I wouldn't be here if he still does that."

Tumango-tango siya saka niya ako niyakap mula sa likuran ko.

"I wish I could go to school and see you all day," bulong niya sa 'kin kaya napangiti ako at marahang humarap sa kanya.

"You will. Kaya kailangan, magpalakas ka. Okay?"

"Okay, Ma'am," he said, giving me a quick kiss on my lips.

~

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