Chapter 3

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It has been around fifteen minutes, and I was still sat in the same place, slightly dazed by what had happened; I'd just been pretty much naked in front of my best friend. It feels like it happened, but then it seems too weird to be true. I needed to put clothes on still, and decent ones. I didn't want Bandit to see me like this, and I only slightly wanted to impress Gerard. Some of that was that I wanted to prove to him that I could cope with myself and his daughter, and some of that was me wanting him to not see the ugly body he had just saw. I walk upstairs, gripping the towel tightly not wanting it to fall again, but then I'm alone now it doesn't really matter. I reach the bedroom, the door opening with only a little bit of extra strength on my part and then I shut the door behind me. I don't really like being naked in front of myself I'm that self-conscious, but I drop the white towel and step out of it, walking over to the dull wardrobe that held all my clothes.

The wardrobe used to hold Jamia’s clothes too, so when I pull the dirty coloured doors open, the empty space that used to be full with colourful clothes makes my heart ache. But I quickly glance back to my clothes and the dark clothes and blacks comfort me. I chose a dark grey v neck, which I’m pretty sure I stole from Gerard and didn’t give back. The grey material stretches over my head as I pull it down and over my body, hiding all the places I don’t like. Then I pull some ripped skinny jeans from their hanger and pull them up, knowing they wouldn’t close if I had boxers on because I’m that fat. I close the doors once I’m done, and bend down to pick up the white towel from the floor. My hair doesn’t need much drying because it’s dried naturally, all of the ends curling in different angles, but I still bend over and run the soft material over my brown locks just to make sure. I push my fingers through the curls, trying to find some sort of order to it, but then just letting it fly naturally around my face. I don’t like it to be styled like this at all, so I walk to the bathroom.

The mirror in there displays a chubby face surrounded by curls of brown hair that make me look about twelve. The white sink drawers are then pulled open and I grab my flat iron, hoping to at least look a little better than I do right now. It doesn’t take too long to straighten my hair, the curls disappearing and leaving sharp points of hair around my face. I turn off the flat iron, and look in the mirror again, sighing. It looks better, but it looks incredibly flat. There’s some styling mousse beside the toothpaste so I grab it and spike up some of the brown hairs at the top of my head, but only a little. Then I rub my hands together and style my hair over to one side and when I feel satisfied I walk out of the bathroom and into Lily and Cherry’s old bedroom. When Bandit used to stay over she’d always stay in here with the girls, so I don’t know if she’d like to stay in here on her own but I don’t know what other options there are; My bedroom is too dirty to even show Bandit, and Miles was too young for a bed that was suitable for Bandit. Maybe she’d be okay with staying in here; there was a lot of pink on the beds and walls, so she’d probably feel at home. I get out quickly after checking that everything was okay, not really wanting to look at the old room anymore, it was too painful. Just as I reach the bottom of the stairs, there’s a knock on the door.

“Hey!” I greet Gerard and Bandit with a smile. Bandit is in her pyjamas already, the ice cream cone that decorated the white t-shirt standing out. The bottoms were white too, covered in spots of pink and blue – she looks adorable. Gerard looks adorable too, but he hasn’t changed clothes. He’s always been a person who doesn’t make a special effort and so he’d probably go out dressed like when he goes out with Lindsey.

“Uncle Frankie!” Bandit shouts running towards me and into the house. Her little feet make a loud noise on my floors. I smile properly for the first time in a long while and pick her in my arms, probably squishing her but not caring. I’d missed her so much. She’s one of the cutest little girls I know and she could easily make anyone’s day brighter.

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