1. ”When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.”
Author: Anonymous
Interpretation: This joke is a play on the cliche of wanting to die peacefully in your sleep. This familiar statement takes an unexpected twist when we learn that grandpa was, in fact, driving a car full of passengers when he died “peacefully in his sleep.” As a result, those passengers did not die so peacefully! This type of joke, in which the second half of the statement is shocking or unexpected (usually making you see the first part of the statement in a different light), is also called a “paraprosdokian.”
2. “I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.”
Author: Elayne Boosler
Interpretation: This funny quote presents a clever idea that might possibly work: if you have multiple locks on your door and only lock some of them, someone who tries to pick the lock and assumes that all the locks are engaged will not be able to unpick them all (until, that is, they figure out that not all of the locks were initially locked).
3. “Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.”
Author: Oscar Wilde
Interpretation: Someone who expects bad things to happen (a pessimist) will expect a negative outcome when they lend you money, which is that you won’t return the money. Wilde is saying that this make pessimists good people to borrow money from — because you would never be expected to pay back the money you owe them! The quote is funny because it pokes fun at pessimists (in reality, most people expect you to return money they lend you, pessimist or not) and assumes the reader is a dishonest person who does not want to pay their debts.
4. “The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage.”
Author: Mark Russell
Interpretation: Most people are aware that the planet Saturn is surrounded by rings (you may or may not know that these rings are composed of ice and rocky material). Most people also know that airline luggage often gets lost. While the rings of Saturn are of course not literally composed of lost luggage, this quote is humorous because it makes fun of a frustrating experience many people can relate to — the airline losing your luggage.
5. ”Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.”
Author: Robert Bloch
Interpretation: This joke is of the bathroom humor variety. While many quotes about friendship are meant to be taken very seriously, this funny analogy takes a lighthearted (yet not inaccurate!) twist when it compares friendship to peeing your pants.
6. ”First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.”
Author: Steve Martin
Interpretation: Here’s a classic “good news, bad news” joke quote from a master comic. It’s darkly funny because the “good” news is really pretty terrible, and the bad news is implied: once we hear the good news (that the patient is going to have a disease named after him), we already know the bad news (that the patient has a never-bef0re-seen disease). Disease is usually a serious topic, but tasteful jokes on this subject can be especially funny because they make us laugh at our fear of death, rendering it less terrifying.
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Quotes and Some of my thoughts :)
HumorBehind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman. I will update this book everyday.. Feel free to give suggestions :)
