Loving Luke | muke [c]

Twenty Nine

I smiled to myself. I couldn't help it, the irony was just too much. I was halfway through reading Phaedra (yet again) when my bedroom door swung open. I didn't even bother to look up at first, I had heard Luke's voice downstairs as my mother opened the front door for him and I was trying my hardest to remain neutral. In reality, all I wanted to do was cry. I hadn't spoken to Luke since I walked away from him that day at the house and it was now a couple of days before I left for Greece. I had been too busy organising my things to even think about what was happening in my so called love life, but judging by the way Luke had stormed up into my room, he wasn't feeling the same.

"Since when?" Was the first thing he said. I raised my gaze from my book up to the blond standing at my doorway. His face didn't look much different than usual, but Luke did seem a lot more pale. He had lost some weight too, but it was nothing I would have noticed if I had been around him for the past month or so. He also hadn't shaved in a while, but I liked the whole hobo look he had going on. It suited him, weirdly enough.

"Since when what?" I asked calmly, even though I knew exactly what he was talking about. Luke was like that, when he didn't have the upper hand, he'd go into a frenzy. I wouldn't say I was okay with everything going on, but I was definitely coming to terms with them and Luke definitely was not. He had lost the upper hand against me and he was starting to grow anxious about it. He needed to have control of the situation and at the moment he had none.

"You know what." He sighed. I knew he had come in looking for a fight. Just enough so I'd break down and he'd be there to pull me in again. It didn't take long for him to realise I was calm and collected (on the outside at least) and his entire demeanour changed in a split second. "Since when have you been in love with me?"

I shrugged, closing my book and placing it aside as I sat up on my bed. Luke was still standing by the doorway, with the door still wide open and hand holding tightly onto the doorknob. I gave him a look, nodding towards the door until he understood I was asking him to shut it. My feelings for Luke were no secret to anyone anymore; everyone had caught on years ago. Everyone except Luke, of course. He closed the door and gave me an expectant look, eyebrows raised and lips slightly parted. "I don't know," I shrugged again. "Since birth."

He let out something between a sigh and a scoff, letting his head hang low as he shook it from side to side seeming almost disappointed in my response. I knew Luke was looking for answers, answers I hadn't given him the last time we talked but I could already tell they would be answers I was looking for just as much as him. I could already feel the atmosphere getting tense as Luke let go of the doorknob, slowly pacing closer to my bed before taking a seat on the floor, looking up at me with curious eyes.

"Michael," He said. He took a long pause, wide blue eyes frantically searching for any hint of expression on my face but I promised myself I wouldn't give anything away. The roles were now reversed and Luke would be the one to have to break down my walls. I had spent too long trying to break his that I hadn't even given myself enough time to build up walls of my own. "Why didn't you tell me before?"

I scoffed. "Would it have made any difference?"

Luke looked down at his hands, tongue darting out to dampen his plump lips and I instantly knew Luke was trying to decide if it would be a good idea to speak up about something. I had my heart in my mouth as I shuffled uncomfortably. I hated the anxiousness that came from watching Luke have an internal battle with himself. That pained expression on his face only meant one thing: he was debating whether or not to open his heart. And whenever Luke opened his heart, very little good came out of it.

"It could have." He whispered. His eyes flickered back to look into mine, and for the first time in my life I could clearly see regret flash through Luke Hemmings's eyes and the sight made my skin crawl. This was not what I had expected at all from this conversation and now was not the time for Luke to manipulate me into changing my mind about Greece.