Just Let It Go {Superntural oneshots}

RENEGADE

"Oh mama, I'm in fear for my life from the long arm of the law. Lawman has put an end to my running and I'm so far from my home. Oh mama, I can hear you a'cryin', your so scared and all alone. Hangman is comin' down from the gallows and I don't have very long. The jig is up, the news is out, they've finally found me. The renegade who had it made retrieved for a bounty, nevermore to go astray. This will be the end today of the wanted man."

-Styx

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"Sammy's dead." Dean told himself. He was sitting alone in a church in Kansas near the bunker. It happened just yesterday, when a demon came up behind him and stabbed him in the neck. Dean hadn't stopped crying since. "I know Cas can't hear me, but..." he sniffled. "Ezekiel's gone too. No one can bring him back this time. Unless anyone of you bastards up there is listening. I doubt it though." He wipes off his cheeks, tears streaming down them.

"I heard what happened, Dean." Dean turns around to see that Cas walked through the doors of the church. His face was blotchy, and his eyes were red, too. Emotions were new to Castiel, seeing as he hadn't been human for very long. "I... can't imagine how hard it must be for you. I understand you were very close."

"Yeah. We used to be. What am I gonna do, Cas?"

"I don't know. I guess we try to forget."

"But I don't want to forget."

"What happened to him?"

"A demon. I, uh, I had my back turned for two seconds. Next thing I know, he's lying on the ground with an angel blade in his neck." Dean almost didn't say the last few words, but he had to face the facts. Sam was gone, and he didn't think he would come back. Maybe he's in the cage with Lucifer again, but hopefully he's in heaven, running from the light. Dean gets up and walks out to the Impala, Cas following him. They get in the car, Dean in the passenger seat because his tears were blurring his vision. Cas starts the Impala, but doesn't back out of the parking lot. He looks over to Dean and gives him a loving, comforting hug. Dean hugs back, burying his face in Cas's shoulder, his tears soaking Cas's shirt. They stay like that for a minute or so until Dean pulls away. He wipes his eyes. "Let's go."

Cas drives back to the bunker quickly, while Dean absentmindedly stares out the side window. His crying has stopped, but he can't help thinking it was all his fault. Sam's death was always his fault. He would never get used to not having his partner, his best friend, his brother, by his side at all times. He had a small plan in the back of his mind, and he thought about it on the way home. Home. He had called it home for a while now, but home was wherever Sam was. It wasn't considered a home anymore.

He hadn't been back to the bunker since... And he had yet to tell Kevin. The poor kid already lost his mother due to Crowley, now another part of his small family was gone too. Dean had no idea of how to break it to him. Maybe Cas could do it for him, but that would be considered a bit insensitive.

Whike Dean was thinking all this, he heard a sniffle come from the other side of the car. He looked over to Cas as a tear drop ran down his cheek. Dean put his hand on Cas's face and wiped it away with his thumb. Cas looked over to him, his eyes even more red than before. Cas missed his friend, his family.

That night, when they all sat down at the dinner Dean cooked, Kevin asked where Sam was. This was the hardest thing he'd ever had to do. Dean looks at Kevin with a face that says I'm sorry. "Sam isn't coming back."

"Why not?" tears threatened to pour down Dean's face again.

"Because he's, uh, gone. He's never coming back." his voice cracks. Kevin understands. His eyes well up, and so do Cas's. They all silently cry, then Kevin gets up and leaves. He goes into his room an sobs so loud, they can hear it in the kitchen. Dean doesn't cry anymore. He doesn't have enough liquid in him. He's gone numb.