thin ⚣ phan

nine

he was doing it again, staring at dan, waiting for him answer to the question.
dan was ignoring him. dan knew what he would say, why do you feel this way? and dan would reply with idk because he didn't or he did. dans thoughts, feelings and emotions were all over the place and being stuck in a room with a guy who keeps asking stupid questions for an hour just because you have a 'eating disorder' wasn't helping.

in fact as time passed his therapy session with gerard was coning to an end which he was glad because he wanted to go. he wanted to talk to phil even though they weren't on the best terms at the moment. maybe if he went to phil's house— dan was then cut off at first he forgot what he was talking about or who he was talking too so he quickly turned his face to the person and was disappointed.

it was his therapist speaking not phil. gerard. not phil. phil isn't here.

"dan" he said as he started standing up

"what?"

"you're not making this easy, you know"

"i guess"

"do you see what you're doing to yourself?"

silence. dan knew what he was doing to myself but he couldn't stop no no not now not today. he wasn't ready to stop his body wouldn't let it him eat it was way to used to his normal system.

"dan you need to eat, just a little at a time is fine just eat okay?"

its not that easy, dan thought as he started standing up from my chair. at this point he had come to a realization that nobody knew how he felt they thought that maybe eating would help him get better but it dosen't help, just because he eat's dosen't mean he's getting better or at least that's what he thinks.

"okay" he said quietly but loud enough for him to hear.

"you're going to eat?" he said smiling at me now.

"yes" dan reassured him as i began walking towards the door. my session was over and it was another day of disappointment because dan knew he wasn't getting better.

_

just as dan was about to message phil or at least try to, a notification went up and his eyes were suddenly on what it said and who had sent it. it was pj and he wanted to talk to dan to come over at his place. dan had almost forgotten that the other day peej had texted him about that.

sighing, dan found myself repling to pj and telling him that he would be glad to meet him now even though he was paranoid at the fact if dan really did make the right descision because what exactly did he want to talk to him about? he mentally stopped myself from going to conclusions.

dan quickly scanned himself in the mirror. he looked horrible, flaws everywhere. he thought maybe ignoring the fact that he hated how he looked would make him look somewhat confident. he was wrong.

_

dan regretted the moment he came to meet peej. the fact that peej said he needed to eat. peej didn't understand that eating was so hard for him. the food never stayed down. the bathroom was always so near. but what stuck out was when peej called a skinny freak.  maybe peej was right because who would want to be hanging out with someone who can't keep food down without going to the bathroom. he was just a stupid skinny freak.

how the moment exactly played out was when peej started the conversation.

"hello dan how are you?" peej said as he pointed over to the seat next to him on the sofa.

"im alright how are you peej?" dan had never felt any more uncomfertable in his life. peej seemed off he didn't seem to be acting like he used too.

"dan im good never better" he paused and then parted his lips to speak again "so are you wondering why you're here?"

i hesisantly said," yeah why did you want to talk to me?"

"dan you're a too thin" he said to me as looked me in the eyes.

"i-i o-okay"

"dan i think you should start eating" dan froze. he knew he had to eat but why was everyone telling him this? he couldn't? he shouldn't? it never worked out.

"peej i can't"

"just try dan do you see what you're doing to yourself, no offense but you look like a skinny freak" instantly a look of regret was shown on peej's face yet dan didnt notice it.

"n-o dan i didnt mean it like that its just you're so thin you need help medical help, dan"

"o-okay peej i want to go i don't want to talk to you anymore" with that said dan began walking out peej's house and started walking home.

_

when dan returned home he ignored everything. he didnt reply to the missed messages he had from peej. he didn't eat. his mother wasn't home. phil hadn't tried to communicate with him and dan sighed but thought maybe phil would talk to him at school or at least he hoped phil did. dan soon feel asleep with an empty stomach he had broken a promise but he didn't seem to care or realize that he needed help.

_

should i continue this story? also i hope you all have a great day!!