P&P

Chapter Thirty-Three

Coming back into the house was a humiliating thing for me to do on two parts: One, Miss De Bourgh had left me to contemplate what I was secretly hoping for the past four months, and whether it was right. Two, my whole family seemed to have "overheard" this conversation – and were seeking immediate answers.

"Lizzie!" My mother shouted as I ran past her to the stairs, taking them two at a time. "But I don't understand, what did she want?" Of course she understood, I would've been surprised if my mother hadn't understood fully. This was just her way of coaxing me into a conversation.

"For the love of god, woman, give her some privacy." I heard my father whisper just as I reached the landing of the second floor. I gave a quick glance down and saw Jane and Lydia exchange looks before looking back up at me. I didn't return them, and chose to escape into my bedroom instead.

I was wide awake as I stared up at the darkened ceiling of my bedroom. I couldn't even find the strength to toss and turn in bed. It was as if Miss De Bourgh's words had paralyzed me for the time being. The more I thought about what she told me, the harder my heart seemed to pound in my chest. Darcy's comments about my family seemed so trivial compared to the humiliation his aunt had brought upon me tonight.

It didn't seem to matter whether her words rang true or not. I had always known that I was stronger than my mother, or Jane, or even Lydia. I felt that I had to be – that one of us had to be. But what I never counted on was feeling this way when told that I wasn't worthy enough. And nothing I told myself to justify my actions could make my mind race any slower or my heartbeat to go back to its steady beat.

"Lizzie?" I heard my sister Jane call from outside my bedroom door. The sun was just beginning to rise when I woke up that morning. I had barely slept at all, and the same seemed to be true for Jane.

"Come in." I croaked sleepily. The day before had hardly caught up with me. The first two sweet seconds I had woken up, I was unaware of who I was and what was yesterday. Just as well, those two sweet seconds had passed as quickly as they came.

I heard the creak of the doorknob turning and pulled the comforter down from over my head. Jane was dressed and ready for the day. "I forgot you have exams today." I yawned.

"I wouldn't normally bother you this early, but," She hesitated, unsure if I would consent to talking over the previous night's events. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

"No worries, Jane." I tried to assure her. "Sticks and stones may break my bones-"

"Is such a BS line." Jane interrupted. My sleepy eyes widened. "What did Darcy's aunt say to you, Lizzie?"

"Basically that my peasant-ness is unworthy of her nephew's royalty." I threw the covers back and sat up in my bed. "And something about Pemberly Grove becoming polluted."

"Actual pollution or-"

"Polluted by me." I said wearily. I put my palms over my eyes, trying to stop the oncoming headache the day was already bringing. When I finally chanced a glance at my sister, I saw that she was more than dressed and ready for the day, despite it being half past six in the morning.

She looked positively stunning in a blue dress that matched her eyes, her shiny blonde hair in braids pinned at the crown of her head (making a halo for her to look like the angel she was) and what appeared to be new sandals on her feet. She was even wearing makeup, though she didn't need any. "I'm guessing you're meeting Charlie again today?"