Never Have I Ever

Chapter 5

I tiptoed up my driveway, Anna’s heels in my hand. I heard Scott’s car drive off, purring quietly down the road, Anna snuggled into his passenger seat, just as I left them a few minutes ago. I realized I had left my car at Anna’s, but shrugged it off. I’ll just pick it up tomorrow.

I tripped on a brick that was placed in the middle of my lawn. “Shit!” I cursed loudly, and my head snapped up, hoping no one had woken up because of me. My heart stopped beating so loud after a few minutes of silence. I started to tiptoe again, not wanting to wake my mother. My mother with a hangover… I shuddered. Not something I wanted to deal with right now.

I was sobered up now, my mind becoming less fuzzy than it was when I was in Nash’s room. My heart pounded loudly for a different reason than before. I remembered his smile. Why?  Why am I thinking about him? He’s a jerk – a mysterious, attractive jerk. I gritted my teeth. Why was I always drawn to the jerks? I had to stay away from him.

I nodded. It was decided. I would avoid him. I would never think of that stupid game, and his stupid nice teeth, and his strong jaw, and – What the hell! I groaned. This was going to be harder than expected.

I poked my door open, used to the sight of my mother sprawled out on our small couch. Her shoes were still on, a blanket on the floor. I clicked my tongue quietly. It must’ve fallen off when she fell asleep.

I walked over to her sleeping form, removing her shoes at gently as possible, and covering her with the blue blanket. I leaned down to kiss her forehead. No matter how many times she disappointed Chris and I, she was still my Mom.

            “Love you, Mom,” I murmured, sighing softly. I walked up the stairs, peeking into Chris’s room to find his small body huddled under the blankets already. I smiled, grateful. Lucy must’ve took him over and put him to bed. Mom must’ve been out getting drunk somewhere, because if Lucy had seen the state Mom was usually in … I winced. Lucy would definitely not sit and watch as our Mother drank herself away.

I headed into my room, stripping off Anna’s tight dress, and pulling on a tank top and pajama shorts. I snuggled into my blankets, closing my eyes. All I could think about was how honest I’d been with Nash. Why had I told him all those things about me? What was it about him…? He made me want to be honest; something about his intense eyes that looked too dark, too knowing for just a teenager. I sighed, mentally slapping myself. What was with this poetic bullshit? He was just a hormonal teenaged boy, who was a jerk. Just like the rest of them.

I mean, that kiss meant nothing to him. It couldn’t have. Not after the way he’d snapped at me. I thought about the way he held onto me as we kissed, like he was drowning without me in his arms. It made me feel warm inside to think that. That he needed me. I smiled, falling asleep with that thought on my mind.

*                                   *                                   *                                   *

I blinked; my eyes fuzzy from sleep. I forgot where I was momentarily, and then remembered I was in my room. My head pounded slightly from the alcohol I had drank from last night. I groaned lightly, jumping up from my bed, and getting a head rush.

            “Ugh,” I muttered, holding onto my head, and stumbling down the stairs.

I reached the kitchen, pulling open the cabinet, and searched through the few medicines we had, looking for something to numb my headache.

            “Aria?” A voice croaked, and I paused, my hand hovering above an Advil. I turned slowly, seeing my mother standing in the same clothes she’d had on last night, her hair everywhere. She looked so young. She looked like she was a young adult who’d been partying last night. Her eyes were clear, though, and her nose wasn’t red, so she was sober.