Never Have I Ever

Chapter 11

I woke up with my face feeling tight. From crying, I assumed. I put my palms to my cheeks; they were ice-cold and felt relieving against my hot skin.

I had tossed and turned all night. There was a dream in paticular that I couldn't erase from my mind. Nash and I were in his room, lying down on his bed. He was sleeping, and then suddenly he started to thrash around, the same way he had when I'd first fallen asleep next to him. I kept shaking him, and shaking him but he wouldn't wake up. I remembered the helpless feeling, and I hated it. If there was one thing I always wanted to have, it was control. I couldn't control my mother, so I wanted to have control in every other way.

He was thrashing and yelling for someone, I recalled.

"Why'd you have to go?" he asked over and over. It was troubling how real it all felt.

It felt like he was asking me that question. Why'd I have to go?

My eyes burned from lack of sleep, and I rolled over onto my stomach in my bed. I saw a sneaker. My eyes traveled up from the sneaker to legs covered in jeans. Male legs. What the hell –

            “Oh good, you’re up.”

            Scott.

            “Why are you in my room?”  I grumbled sleepily, knowing full well he probably had climbed up the tree from outside my bedroom window while I was sleeping. Creep.

            “I couldn’t sleep,” he said as if it was normal that he’d just casually sneak into my room if he can’t sleep.

            “And why is that?” I played along, knowing that this was Anna-related.

            “Well,” he sighed heavily and I felt guilty for playing off his feelings like it was nothing. Being rejected sucked, and I flashed him a weak smile, which he returned just as weakly.

            He tugged his fingers through his hair, “God,” he sighed, “I mean, she lets me sleep right next to her… I held her, Aria,” his sad eyes made me frown, “And then she says she doesn’t love me like that. Just friends,” he laughed bitterly – which made me wince, Scott was anything but bitter, “God damn friends.”

            “Why don’t we just hang out?” I asked him, hoping to get Anna off his mind for a little – and mine. Our fight was still lurking in the back of my mind. I was stubborn, though, and so was Anna so who knew which one of us would be the first to apologize.

            He shrugged, “Sure. Nice hair,” A smirk spread across his face and I rolled my eyes, patting down my unruly hair. He ruffled through my drawers and I pushed his hands away, making a face.

            “Don’t look through girls clothes!” I scolded, “There could be…” I paused, deciding not to say bras and underwear, “Stuff in there.”

            “What?” I knew there was a perverted comment coming, “Like…bras?”

I didn’t turn around to see the idiot grinning, and just continued to pick out clothes. I settled on a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt. I hurried into the bathroom, pulling them on and proceeded to throw my hair up, which was currently a tangled mess of waves, into a ponytail. When I returned to my room, Scott was scrolling on his phone, lying on my bed on his stomach, his legs spreading out and hanging off the bed he was so tall. I snapped my fingers.

            “Come on,” I said, and he hopped up and walked to me in his goofy-Scott-walk, and I smiled.

            “Where are we going?” he furrowed his eyebrows, sticking his phone into his back pocket.