The List-Maker

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We all have a list of things we're looking for in the perfect partner: a sense of humor, a love of literature, the body and soul of Eddie Redmayne, right? Sure, it's fantastic to have a general sense of what you're looking for (common interests, shared life values), and you probably know that the person you'll ultimately end up with is bound to deviate a little (or a lot) from your checklist.

After our extensive first meeting, the list-maker emailed me a five-page document detailing her dream man. A week later, she sent me another, slightly updated version. Two weeks later, another. There were five in total, with 12 sections, headings and subheadings, photo attachments, and a list of 31 potential hobbies (which included acrobatics, charity galas, and gardening) that she'd like to share with her match.

Date number one was with a guy I believed to fit an astonishing portion of her list. She wanted an accomplished skier who had lived abroad and made more than $200,000 a year? No problem — I set her up with a ski instructor turned hedge fund manager who spent a year living in Tokyo.

No good, apparently. He hadn't skied regularly for several years and had only lived abroad as a child, she told me. Dates two, three, and four went similarly, before I broke it to her that I was a matchmaker, not a man factory: I couldn't create her dream match out of thin air.

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