AN: this isn't fully revised bc I wanted to post this today bc I promised you guys I would and I don't want to waste anymore time I'm soRRY I'M ONLY HUMAN AND I BLEED WHEN I FALL DOWN.
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Jade's POV
I was pacing the floor of my dorm room with my hands tangled in my hair, ready to pull it all out. The sun was currently setting in the west, casting a temporary coat of orange onto the walls. I was alone and the entire building felt as empty as each breath that raked through my lungs. I couldn't even feel my heart in my chest, that's how vacant it must've been. I just kept thinking. On, and on, and on.
I didn't know what to do. I was a wreck. I was a complete mess of scattered thoughts, increasing paranoia, and a horrible nervous sweat. While half of me wanted to focus on trying to go back to my normal life, the other half of me was longing for the repulsive comfort of the Hollywood Hills Hotel.
There must be something that that place is doing to me, otherwise I'd be perfectly fine with staying away from it. But the fact that I can't even close my eyes without seeing it in front of me leads me to believe that the spell is getting stronger every day. The hotel has done more than consume me. It's eaten me alive.
I paced to one side of the room, and I saw the hotel. I paced to the other side, and I saw the hotel again. It was everywhere: in my thoughts, in my dreams, in my head. Everywhere. I couldn't shake it off. And it to top it all off, I couldn't stop thinking about Michael either.
I wanted to go visit him, especially after what happened yesterday. Watching Al slip a knife through his chest was not the last thing I wanted to see of Michael forever. There were so many things drawing me towards the hotel, more than those that have to do with Michael, and I just didn't know what to do.
I knew I had to warn Michael about Mr. Walker. That was a given. There's no way I can just live my life knowing that there's somebody out there that's looking to tear the hotel to the ground. If I could find a way to let Michael know without showing myself to Al, then everything would be fine. If I could somehow get to Michael without Al knowing, then Michael wouldn't be mad at me for showing up in the first place. All he wants to do is keep me away from Al. If I can do that, then Michael won't be pissed at me for wanting to see him. But I'm just not sure of a way to do it.
Well, standing here wasn't doing me any good. If I left now then I'd get to the hotel before sunset. But if I went back there at all I'd be bending the rules I was forced to agree with.
Out all my current problems, that seems to be the biggest one. I want to go to the hotel, but I know that I shouldn't. This will be the third day in a row in which I've let my cravings get the best of me, though Michael has strictly told me to not to give in. If I didn't like Michael as much as I do, then maybe this would be easier. But he's just so damn handsome and charming, I can't keep myself away from him. I miss him more than I miss the hotel itself.
"I hate this." letting out a groan, I flopped down on my bed and stared up at the ceiling. My feelings were tearing me apart from the inside, and it was hard for me to tell them apart from my own logical reasoning.
I shouldn't go back to the hotel. For my own personal safety, I should stay away from it for the next 80 years. But how on earth will I be able to do that when I can't go more than a day without feeling as though I need to be there?
I looked at the clock. It was 7:22 PM. The sun was setting quickly. If I left now, I could reach Michael by dark.
At this point I didn't know if dwelling over my situation was worth it. Regardless of what I say to myself, I'm always going to find some reason to go back to the hotel, no matter how minute that reason will be.
