Baby Blue Eyes

Chapter Six

Sleepily, I clamber onto the bus, flashing my pass at the driver and making my way to one of the few available seats. After a weekend of helping at the bookshop and doing homework, it’s Monday again, and I had an awful nights sleep, as I was thinking over thousands of ways to tell Levi how much we needed him. I wondered what to do if he shouted at me, and told me to never come near me again; wondered what to do if he walked away and blanked me; wondered what to do if he agreed, but then asked for something ridiculous in return.

My mind did wander to what I’d do if he said he would return if we could resume our relationship… but I discarded that as soon as I thought it; there’s no way that it would ever happen, so there’s no point even considering it. So why it plays on my mind is beyond me.

I settle into the seat, dumping my bag on the seat next to me so I can reserve it for Willow, who gets on at the next stop. It’s the only seat left, as a whole huddle of other people have just got on, shuffling into the seats and squeezing past others. It isn’t even that busy at the moment, judging by the usual standards. Oh how I love buses. Not.

At Willow’s stop, I move my bag, ready to let her on, only to find that she’s not there. Instead, only Levi gets onto the bus, appearing to be texting or something on his phone, and as he heads down the bus, he swings himself into the seat next to me without even looking properly to see who I am.

Oh freaking brilliant. Now I’m going to have to spend the entire bus journey attempting to psych myself up to ask him to join the band again, and failing. I know I won’t be able to do it now, not when he’s so close. But it’s a wasted opportunity if I don’t, I tell myself. Yet I can’t do it. My mouth clamped shut, I push my head phones into my ears and decide to ignore him.

He seems to be ignoring me too, as he hasn’t even glanced my way. When he does, he gives a little start of surprise, and shifts uncomfortably in his seat. I was right; he didn’t notice that I was sat next to him.

I realise that for ignoring him, I seem to be being rather observant about what he’s doing. Our eyes meet for a few seconds, making the entire thing about ten times more awkward, and I drop my eyes to my hands, flicking my fingers about in embarrassment. This is not going well.

‘Any luck with The Something Somethings?’

I raise my eyes in horror that Levi’s actually trying to talk to me, wondering why. I see that he isn’t looking at me as he waits for the answer, instead, tapping random buttons on his phone to no real purpose.

‘No,’ I murmur, not sure what to say. Swallowing, I don’t look at him either, and decide I might as well use this opportunity he’s given me. ‘I tried to teach myself lead guitar but I’m freaking awful.’

He actually laughs, and gives me a sideways look. ‘You tried to teach yourself? For one night?’

My cheeks flush. ‘Well, yes.’

‘And you were upset that you couldn’t play it straight away?’

‘You know patience isn’t my strong point,’ I tell him, rolling my eyes.

He snorts. ‘Yeah, I know that.’ He sounds somewhat cross. I flinch a little at his tone, but clench my fists, steeling myself to ask.

Levi’s eyes flicker over to me. ‘Don’t even bother asking me,’ he tells me. ‘I’m not rejoining as a second choice.’

‘We only held the auditions because, as you left, we thought you wouldn’t want to return,’ I tell him, rather untruthfully.

He looks at me. ‘Why didn’t you ask me first, then?’