Trust [boyxboy]

Prolouge

In the small world of corruption and failures stands alone one child on the verge of the end. no dignities withheld beneath the underestimated 15 yeard old homosexual boy. living an average life. everyday he is getting older and everyday he is becoming wiser. Nobody will ever understand why he has such a hard time doing everything but him. nobody will get why he hates it when he has dog hair on him or smells but him. 

his soul is a ant, small, worthless, nobody cares about it, then boom, someone crushes it for their enjoyment when its minding its own buisness. humans are of a corrupt species who overall will be the end of the world. 

among the boy lives divided worlds. his life at his fathers and his life at his mothers, then the one nobody knows about and thats his depressed life. the one where he will lose himself in the blood he produces. the life where he drains away the worries of the outer world. the life where he keeps himself sane. but then again there are consequences that come as a packaged deal with that world. his friends are lies. nobody is real. everything is a lie. he learned not to like good news because its going to turn out bad in the long run. excuse his personality. hes kind, but he gets hurt by every mean thing, joking or not. This boy takes everything to heart. Love? he cant find it. he thought he did, but that was a lie. Hes been used, cheated, lied to, etc. after it happened for the 3rd time by the same person someone else came along. this someone he has a crush on for about  a year. he told this guy that he cant trust well and he needs to know its deffinent. the guy told him he was honest and he wouldnt get hurt in the end. it took a lot for him to trust the guy hes liked for a year but he did. then that turned bad a month later. he cancelled plans 3 times in a row while he was at the guys house almost. see this was supposed to be sex and turn into a relationship. well the guy lied to him and only used him for sex but threw him away in a heartbeat. he was sad. he started cutting himself. he had severe depression before hand, now imagine him. he cuts now often. hes lost his ability to trust overall and it is no lie, impossible for him to trust now. he cant pull himself to trust anyone. its over. he cant go on. hes done. he wants to die without killing himself. his dads girlfriend he named the wicked witch is a wicked witch. lets call her witch for short. oh, and the boy, we can call him me. I call her the wicked witch. the witch is a whore. right now she is dating my dad and being a whore while doing it. I obtain the right to talk freely about people on here but am too nice to do it in person. i never talk about people behind their backs to other people. ever. within my mind i hold secrets. many of them. secrets to success, secrets of others, and secrets of myself. i never vent my feelings to others because i hate the feeling of doing so. i only vent to my diary and this. seeing that you are reading this to get to know me i guess i will tell you a few stories explaining why I am depressed.