RESCUED AND RISEN

Chapter 54

The ride home from the hospital was extremely silent between Lucas and I. I had been practically patched up since the split in my eyebrow had to get stitches, it was a bit deeper than we had originally thought. I was so scared when they were checking up on me. I kept worrying about what if Seagal madness had somehow harmed my baby. Luckily, I was cleared and the doctor told me everything looked alright and my baby was doing well.

Lucas hadn't brought up any discussion the whole ride back to his apartment and I was worried deep down about that. Was he still so shocked over the revelation? That he was buying time before saying anything to me about it or was he somehow giving me time to come to terms with everything that had happened? I didn't know what it was but I just really wanted to get rid of the tension.

"Lucas, I'm sorry." I said the minute we were inside the apartment.

It was like all the silence had made me started to feel guilty about not telling him and trying to leave without doing so.

"Why didn't you tell me Amy?" Lucas asked me.

"I didn't know how to." I told him truthfully.  "I was scared. I didn't know how you would react. I don't understand how it could have happened when we've always been careful every time. And I didn't want you to think that I planned this."

"So instead you decided to be distant then try to run off while you're carrying my child?" Lucas asked me angrily. "You didn't think to tell me? Or to hear how I would feel about the whole situation?"

"Lucas I'm sorry. I was scared. I thought you would be mad." I said to him, wringing my hands together nervously. "I know we're not exactly in a relationship or anything and I didn't think you were ready to commit. I didn't think you would want a child to be thrown up on you. I was scared of telling anyone. I told mom and she tried convincing me to tell you but I just didn't think you'd be ready to hear such news. I didn't want you to feel like you're obligated to take this child and..."

"Amy, I wish you would stop making assumptions and guesses about how you think I feel or I'm going to feel about this." Lucas said to me. "You can't know what I'd think or feel. No one can know but me. I had the right to know. You should have told me from the beginning and let me be the judge and decide how I feel about hearing that I have a kid on the way. I hate when people judge me and think they know how I'm going to react to things before giving me the chance."

"I'm sorry. I wanted to tell you. I really did but I was so scared. I know how you feel about really caring about people. You told me people who you love and care about always get hurt and that was why you tend to push people away. I thought you'd feel the same way if I told you I was pregnant." I said to him. "I didn't want to cause you any further issues and I didn't want you to snap at me, so I figured that if I left, things would be better. I'm sorry."

"This news, it's something that I'm still processing. The thought of becoming a father never came to me before because I've always tried to keep out certain thoughts. I know being in this line of work can be dangerous for those who are close to me, so I never entertained any thought of having a family before. " Lucas said to me. "But not because I have issues and never thought of becoming a father, doesn't mean that I don't want or won't accept the baby. No matter what the circumstances that led to this, it's still my responsibility and I never run away from responsibilities. Just because I have constant fear of losing people close to me or them getting hurt, that does not mean not I won't try to protect those important to me with my life. Knowing that I have a child on the way, I'd kill anyone who tries to harm him or you. You know how I feel about you Amy and if you had told me sooner, then what happened today would never happened because..."

"I know." I said before throwing my arms around his waist. "I'm just sorry that I didn't have the courage to tell you about it sooner and you had to find out like this. I'm a coward. "