The Deal Changer (Book IV)

Chapter Twenty-One - Heart-Attack

Chapter Twenty-One

Heart-Attack

I DON'T KNOW WHAT MATTHEW EXPECTED ME TO SAY.

But apparently the word divorce was never even a consideration in his mind. It was obvious it wasn't because Matthew practically became a statue beside me. His hand was still on my face, his thumb no longer moving. His face was frozen in an unnatural twisted look while his eyes stared blankly at the wall behind me. He didn't blink. He just stared and stood. I wanted to wave my hand in front of his face to see if he was still there mentally, but decided against it because I was afraid to cause any further damage.

My fingers wrapped around the hand on my face and I carefully lowered and released it. Matthew's arm swung limply at his side and he didn't even react to it. He didn't move. It was only whenever I stepped back from him after a minute or two of staring at him was when he finally snapped out of whatever daze he was in.

"You're just kidding, right? It was a joke." His tone was almost desperate as if he was expecting me to say I was messing with him.

I slowly shook my head. "Matthew, I am being serious. You asked me what I wanted, and what I want is a divorce."

He never looked up at me, but instead kept his eyes on the wall behind me. "A divorce," he whispered mostly to himself.

Even though I honestly didn't have to give him a reason or comfort him in any way, I still opened my mouth and let words fly out. "It's not we were going to last in the first place. Did you honestly think we would last forever?" It was more of a rhetorical question.

His head snapped up and he looked at me for the first time in several minutes. He looked cold, hard. But ultimately, for the first time since I met him, Matthew looked dead. Corpse-like. It was the glassiness in his eyes that caused me to shiver. "Yes! I precisely expected for us to last forever!" he shouted in a low voice so the others wouldn't hear us.

I tried not to cringe at his voice. Matthew never raised his voice. Matthew was always the calm one. The mature one. But right now he was something entirely different. "Our marriage was a contract. We were never going to last." It surprised me how calm I was being. Not once did my voice raise or my expression turn harsh.

Matthew shook his head and began loosening his bowtie. "Don't make it sound like it was all just paperwork. It was always more than a contract, Anna." His voice was sharp and cold.

Although it was inappropriate, I laughed. I laughed because it was more than a contract. Our marriage was a massive scam. A trick. But I didn't say that. I wasn't ready to get into that can of worms just yet. "What did you expect me to say, Matthew? What did you think I'd want from you?"

He threw his hands in the air and let out an exasperated huff. "I thought maybe you were upset over me leaving you here too much and you wanted more freedom. I thought maybe you wanted a new car or, hell, a new house!" His voice was shaking and he couldn't stop pacing. "And I was going to give it to you. All of it. God, Joanna, a divorce?"

Joanna. He was using my real name now and not his nickname for me. Matthew only used it during serious moments. "I'm not fit for this life. I'm not going to pretend I am. It's better we just split and go our separate ways and forget all about this insanity."

He stopped pacing and stood at the foot of the bed with his head down, his hands gripped into tight fists at his sides. He didn't speak. He just stood there with his head down and his body stiff.

"Matthew..." I began, hoping he'd be reasonable. Maybe, just maybe, he would grant the divorce and that would be that. Matthew was mature and kept a level head most of the time. "If you truly love me, you would grant me this." It was a bitchy thing to say, I know. Cheap move. I was using his love as my own personal weapon. But it was all I had to negotiate peacefully.