Hues of Love

Part 5

Arnav Singh Raizada had been astounded by the condition put forward by Khushi Gupta to say the least. His feelings of shock did not go unnoticed as his dark brown pools betrayed his emotions to the one craving for an insight.

"Say something, please," she whispered, her voice hoarse with raw pain and her tone desperate.

Arnav was at a loss of words. On one hand was his unwavering loyalty to his wife whose actions make him feel like cursing that emotion to be never felt again and on the other hand lied his concern for his teenage friend. The vulnerability in her eyes made him go weak and falter on path which he knew as well as his breath. Khushi was the strongest woman he had known and to see vulnerability in her eyes was turmoil second to none.

"Why? Of all the things, why this, Khushi?" he demanded, his eyes letting an intense gaze linger over hers and search in them, for hints of a prank which he wanted the whole conversation to be.

For the first time in their friendship of years, he had used her given name and the occasion was such that she could not even celebrate listening to her name from his lips. She had always wondered how her given name would sound in his voice and when she finally found her answer, it seemed that she was facing thousand other questions, put forward by the eyes of the owner of that voice.

"Till this date, I lived with your memories, Arnav. But to live with them, after accepting your proposition," She sighed deeply as she struggled to gain control of herself, "I don't think I am so strong. I want something to latch onto after all this ends. These memories will be enough for me to stay alive."

Arnav wanted to break everything his hands could land on. Such intense love for him and he had been dying for love since years. It almost made him mock his destiny for the irony of his life.

Before he could say anything, a knock on the door stopped his words. Khushi quickly wiped her tears and straightened herself as she called the person in.

"Ma'am, the patients are here. Would you like to begin with the appointments or do you want to extend your lunch time for some more time?" asked the nurse who walked in.

"Send the first person in five minutes after Mr.Raizada leaves. I need to clean up before I can see the patients," she said with a weak smile on her lips.

"Sure, Ma'am," said the nurse as she walked out, closing the door behind her.

Khushi turned to face Arnav, whose gaze never left her. Her eyes met his in an intense embrace, trying to understand that which would have been inexpressible through words and incoherent to ears.

"I'll take your leave now," he said suddenly, breaking the eye-lock, while Khushi's heart had filled enough to content her. She wanted to drink more of his presence and let her heart lose the way more.

She stood up to bid him goodbye with a weak smile gracing her features, wondering why he was not revealing the answer to her proposition. She could bear rejection but not silence, especially his.

"And about...the proposition, can we meet up later? When would you be free?" he asked suddenly, relieving her of her agonizing trail of thoughts.

"I am free in the evenings usually. Text me the venue and timings, I would be there," she said, trying to read into his features but it seemed that he had donned a mask which evaded a doctor's eyes.

It took every bit of her professionalism and work ethics to concentrate on the line of patients waiting for her rather than offering consolation to her desolate heart, seeking out a man far beyond her limits. She had heard the phrase saying that all was fair in love and war far too many times, but was that phrase enough to defend her unwavering love and passion towards a committed man, suffering in loveless love marriage?

The afternoon shift seemed like eons and she was left alone in her cabin after she had attended to her last patient. The innocence and positive vibes which her young patients emanated had always kept her going and that day was no different.

She took out her mobile to speak to Rachna about the happenings of the day when she noticed his message. The mere name managed to light the heart of hers which was lost on a dark and never ending path.

"Tomorrow. 7:30 PM at Vivanta. Fine with you?" read the message. She responded with single word expressing her approval and moved on to speak to Rachna.

"Hello! KHUSHI! Are you alright?" came Rachna's thundering questions as soon as the line got connected.

"How do you know that something had happened, Rachna? Did.." She was unable to complete her question. She knew the man whom she was talking about. He would have been angry to say the least.

"Arnav called me and questioned me. He told me that you, you confessed about your feelings to him. He asked me if I knew about it and if I knew, why did I never bother to tell him or help you come out of this. He was deeply pained," she exclaimed, hoping that Arnav's mind had stabilized since his talk with her.

"I didn't know what else to do, Rachna. He asked me to be a surrogate to his child. Rati refused to be a part of his child, Rachna. Being a surrogate in that way means, being the mother of his child. It was most twisted way in which my dream could have come true! And if I agree to that, I will never be able to part from the child and if I am able to, I will never be able to part from him. And that's why I asked something he will not be able to give me in return. But by some weird play of destiny, he agrees to it, maybe that one night of love will be enough to keep me going," said Khushi, lost in a trance as she eyed his picture in front of her.

"Khushi, Khushi, KHUSHI! Stop doing this to yourself! You will destroy yourself in his love! You will be left craving for him after this and he won't be able to give you what you want! Don't break your soul like this!" pleaded Rachna, trying to think of a way to reduce the pain of the two star-crossed friends of hers.

"There is nothing more to destroy of me, Rachna. Every bit of my soul had been broken when my unconditional love for him lost and Rati's flattering love won. It got torn every time I saw him in pain, every time I realized I could wipe away his agonies but I had no right to do so. It got cut every damn time he understood me as well as no body ever could but failed to understand what my heart wanted. If not solace, let me at least take pain given by him. Destiny brought us to this crossroad, let it decide what it wants to do with these puppets this time," she mocked, her voice sans any warmth or happiness she stood for.

On one side stood a lover who had faced the wrath of love which made him spurn away its embrace and on the other side stood a lover who wished to be brought to naught if the means was love. One emotion, two people, many shades. Which shade would destiny choose for them?