The Kept

The Guard

Her guard was waiting when Nerys burst into the garden soaked, panting, and covered in grass and twigs. 

"Have you been harmed?"

His concern only increased her guilt for lashing out at him earlier.

"No. We were trying to catch some fish at the lake and fell in." This explanation did not seem to satisfy him, so she changed the subject. "I thought Prince Gereon released you for the day?"

"My duty is to you," he said.

The guard removed his overcoat and wrapped it around Nerys's shoulders just as Gereon caught up to her. From the way they glared at each other, Nerys feared Gereon might have the guard dismissed on the spot.

"Let's get you back to your chamber before you catch cold, Princess," the guard said. Gereon said nothing as they left.

She hardly noticed her wet skirt tangling about her feet as she tried to sort through what she felt. Despite everything he had done to her, for just an instant, she had felt some kindness- even attraction toward Gereon. It made her dizzy with self-loathing. She needed to think about anything else.

"I'm sorry I snapped at you earlier," she said suddenly.

"There is no need for you to apologize to a servant," he said.

"Yes, there is," Nerys said. "I was horrible to you for no reason, and I have seen you every day for months and still don't even know your name."

"Trygve, my lady," he said. "I don't think you were horrible in the least. Things have been... difficult for you since you arrived."

"Don't make excuses for me. We both know that I was being awful. Please, just accept my apology."

"As you wish."

Her conscience cleared of the least of her sins, Nerys could not stop thinking about the moment when Gereon's hand touched hers. It disgusted her how easily she betrayed Kalea's memory. She tried to control the tears that threatened to expose her treachery until she could reach the privacy of her chamber.

Trygve was not blind to it. "Princess, tell me the truth. Did he hurt you?"

"No. I am fi—"

She gasped as the dress finally tripped her up and she reached out to steady herself. Trygve caught her hand, steered her through the nearest doorway, and locked it behind them. They were in long neglected study of some sort. He sat her on a dusty chair, and knelt before her. If he had not noticed the well of tears glazing her eyes before, there was no missing them now that their faces were inches apart.

"I am here to help you," he said. "Nothing you tell me will leave this room if you don't want it to, I promise."

Nerys nodded. She could no longer bear her heartache alone. She told him everything: from her failure to save Errol, to Kalea's unnecessary death, and finally the heart of the matter, how she despised herself for no longer hating the man responsible for it.

"He had her murdered without a second thought. and now I'm holding hands picking flowers with him. What does that make me?"

"It makes you human," Trygve said. "It is common for prisoners to bond with their captors. Queen Calliste is aware of that, which is why she mandated your afternoons alone with her son. It's easier to manipulate a person's emotions than you'd think."

"Thank you."

"I am yours, Princess. Trust that you can always come to me for anything." He reached out and delicately replaced her shoulder strap, which had slipped down unnoticed, tucked a loose curl behind her ear, then drew her to a stand. "Any time. As your personal guard my quarters are right beside yours, and there is a hidden door between them where I can access your room in an emergency. Not even the Prince knows it exists."

"My personal guard?"

"Every member of the royal family is assigned one. Did you think I was here to just open doors?"

"I knew you were guarding me, but I thought it was to keep me from climbing out of a window or something."

"I hardly think I could prevent you from anything you truly desire," Trygve smiled. "If you were to sneak out of a window, my only obligation would be to protect you from harm on your travels. Come now. You should return to your suite before anyone misses you; unless you have already chosen a window?"

~

Gereon was waiting in the sitting area of Nerys's chamber when she returned. The little bouquet they had gathered together was gripped so tightly in his fists that the stems were bent and the flowers drooped pitifully.

"You forgot your flowers." His measured voice could not conceal the anger that boiled just below its surface. "I thought I would catch up to you on the way. Did you get lost between the garden and your room?"

"I felt a little faint. Trygve found a place for me to sit until I recovered. We were in a study not too far from here. You must have walked right past us."

It wasn't a complete fabrication, but Nerys felt her heartbeat speed up under Gereon's skeptical appraisal of her.

"I must have," he said finally. "Are you alright? Should I send for a physician?"

"I'm fine. I will be completely recovered once I've rested."

Gereon ran his fingers through his hair, displacing the already unruly locks.

"Of course. I just wanted to give you these," he said, thrusting the wildflowers into her hands. "And now you have them, so I'll be on my way..."

"Thank you."

As soon as he left, Nerys collapsed in her chair and wrung the damp, damaged stems between her hands. Alone with Gereon she had once more felt an unwelcome attraction. They had crossed some indefinable barrier, and she could no longer simply hate him as she had for the many months since being taken captive.

A verdant smell alerted Nerys to the fact that she had mangled the flowers between her fingers, and she tossed the ragged bunch onto the table before her. The purple and gold king's-heart lay unspoiled in the center of the mess of leaves and petals. She turned her face away from it and her attention fell on the inner wall of her room. Trygve had mentioned that his room was adjacent to hers, with access via a panel.

She tapped carefully along the length of her room, listening for any deviation in sound that might indicate the faux wall. Her efforts were rewarded quickly, and she took a deep breath before knocking. After a moment, two taps responded and the panel slowly creaked forward. Trygve cautiously poked his head through the opening.

"Did you knock?"

"Yes."

He entered the room and placed a book he was holding between the panel and wall to prevent the door's closing.

"What can I do for you?"

What had she thought he could do? "Gereon was waiting for me..." She bit her lip, suddenly at a loss.

"I'm listening."

"I can't stand feeling like this every time I see him," Nerys said. "I know it is probably not what you meant when you said I could come to you if I needed anything..."

"I meant anything." Trygve leaned forward as he spoke. "I am yours."

"Would you talk to me? Even if it's just about the weather while we walk, I don't mind as long as it means he is not all I have."

"I am forbidden from casual conversation with you, princess."

"Oh."

Nerys felt stupid for asking. Of course he wouldn't be allowed to speak to her. She was still a prisoner, after all.

"In public," the guard added with a slow grin. "But here in your chamber we can speak of anything you like, as often you like, so long as we are discreet."