ᴍᴀɢᴄᴏɴ ɢʀᴏᴜᴘ ᴄʜᴀᴛ??

19.

(EDITED)

Jennifer's p.o.v

Chanel wasn't here yet, she was coming tomorrow.
Some family stuff happened.
I miss her, she was one of the people who kept me together.
But one person I miss the most is Wes.
He was my best friend.
I honestly don't even know what we are.
Considering we haven't spoken in two to three years, I don't think we are friends.
Now I'm alone.
In a hotel room.
Without my best friend Chanel.
Or even my dog Kylie to keep me sane.
I'm scared.
I got bored like always and went on Twitter.
I decided to tweet.

"Baby no promises, cause we cant keep promises"

I posted this because Shawn promised to always love me.
Instantly people started retweeting and commenting.
Some were asking me if I was okay.
I smiled at that, they were worried for me.
Others were telling me I deserve to die and be sad.
I read some comments.
I had nothing better to do anyway.

~

Username 1: I swear she is such a petty whore, just die already 😂

Username 2: Fucking slut, she is using the Magcon boys! 😤

Username 3: Can she leave Magcon before it even starts? 😴

Username 4: Go back to your petty ass family!

Madison: Eww barbie 😂

Kylie: Barbies plastic? Madison

Madison: you know a thing or two about plastic, since that's you.

Username 5: you deserve to be sad 😂

Username 6: Guys leave her alone already 😤😤

Username 4: Do us all a favor and get a gun and point it to your head and pull the trigger 😌

Johnson: Fucking stop! Username 4

Username 1: or do pills again? 😂😂💀

Jack: Hop off thotison!! 😑 Madison

Stassie: Princess, it's ok ❤

Chanel: I'm coming now 💔 first plane to Dallas

Kylie: Maybe I will...Username 1

-

I deactivated my Twitter and other social medias.
I walk downstairs to the lobby and see Shawn.
He walks over to me.
If I'm not sad or mad enough.
"Jennifer" he says mid-whisper.
I try to continue walking but he grabs hold of my wrist.
"LET GO OF ME SHAWN!" I shout.
He looks at me with sad eyes.
But he only pulls me closer.
I push myself out of his chest.
I go to doors and open them and walk out.
I'm surrounded my fans and lights flashing.
I rush to my car door.
My anxiety is going to start acting up.
"Jennifer please" Shawn shouts.
People are probably recording but I don't care anymore.
"Leave me alone" I reply just as loud.
I get into my car.
I lock the door and Shawn is outside my window.
I roll my window down.
"What?" I ask.
I know I'm going to cry, that's why I need to leave.
He grabs my face and cups it.
Tears are already falling.
I can't do this, I can't lead him on.
Not now, im going to the store already.
I push him away and he stumbles a little.
A fan catches him, it's that one skank.
She looks at me and smirks, still holding Shawn.
I look at her with wide eyes.
I flipped her off and she stood in shock.
I rolled window up, still crying.
I pulled out of the parking space.
Talking to the moon by Bruno Mars came on
If as I wasn't in my feels already.

I arrive to the store.
I grab a bottle of the first pills I see.
I also grab some razors.
And to not seem so suspicious I bought candy and water.
I also bought paper and pens.
So I can write a letter.
I go to the check out and the lady gives me a weird look.
I give her an assuring smile, fake of course, and she buys it.
I walk out of the store.
I get in the car.
I drive to the hotel and park again.
People are still outside.
I get out of my car and lock it.
I rush inside and guards push out fans that are inside the hotel.
I take the stairs, and walk to my floor.
I see no one on the floor and walk to my door.
I walk in and set my bag down.
I put some music on.
The song that came on was 'Since U been gone' by Kelly Clarkson.
I got the paper and pen out.
I started writing on it.

-

Dear anyone who finds this,

Tell the boys I love them. All of them. Don't forget me if I do go... I know this is second time, it's pills but I get too much hate. I can't deal with it. Plus Shawn wanted me to go, so this is fine. I'm sorry, I've had a lot of things happen to me. I've been cheated on, played and shit. But this is short so, I love you all so much. Don't forget me.

From, Kylie the hoe?

-

The song changed and I didn't notice.
Big girls don't cry by Fergie
I went into the bathroom and broke that shaver for my legs I bought.
I got out the razor from it.
I have to be strong right?
Don't do this!
Before I have a chance to turn back there is already a cut on my arm.
First cut for Shawn.
Second cut for Cameron.
Third cut for being ugly.
Fourth cut for falling for the boys.
Fifth cut for being a mistake.
Sixth cut for the hate.
I switch arms and I continue.
First (2) cut for my mom.
Second (2) cut for Kylie.
Third (2) cut for my fake friends.
Fourth (2) cut for Wes.
Fifth (2) cut for being a fake friend.
Sixth (2) cut for not fighting.

I feel free, pain free.
I smile a little and grab the bag.
I pull the pills out and the water too.
I grab the pills and try to open them.
It's a little tight.
I cry because I think I might fail.
I finally get it to pop open.
I smile and get the bottle of water.
I open that and grab the pills again.
I wanna take them slowly.

First pill
Second pill
Third pill
Fourth pill
Fifth pill
Sixth pill

Im feeling a little dizzy now.
Good, I'm losing it.
I drink down some water.
I pick up the pill bottle and pop 5 in.
And drink water.
I get two more and I'm about to swallow them.
But i hear a noise.
I turn around and see Johnson with wide eyes standing there.
I swallow the pills and get the water and drink it.
Johnson comes towards me and wraps my in a hug.

"How many have you taken?" He asks shakily.
"Around 10, maybe" I say quietly.
"Throw them up, please?" Johnson asks, tone lower then mine.
"Why? No one wants me here" I say to him.
"You don't know that" he tells me.
"Name 3 people" I say.
"Your mom, the fans, and me" he says.
I look deeply into the his bloodshot eyes.
I get out of his grip and go to the toilet.
He comes behind me and holds my hair.
I begin to throw them up.
I cry as I see them come out.
This was suppose to be my actual ending.
But yet it's not.
Thanks to Johnson.