Flashpoint Paradox || Barry Allen [3]

01| Take Me Back

***
Barry's POV

I couldn't do anything more than just stare straight ahead of me. Some part of me still not able to accept that I am in this place. Not for her.

I should have been there for her.

But I failed her. I know I did and I'm never going to forgive myself for it.

I squeezed Iris' hand a little tighter only to remind myself that I could still feel something. The past two days I've been seized by a numb feeling and I couldn't bring myself to cry for her. I still haven't cried for the woman I love.

My only explanation was that I was still in denial. I wanted to believe that she would come back to us.

Sara came back why couldn't Diane?

I looked around at the people surrounding the freshly dug grave. So many people mourning her loss, the most painful part about all of this being that Diane never realized how many people loved her. 

As I looked at all the faces who were almost a blur in my mind, I suddenly locked eyes with Caitlin who immediately looked away. I couldn't shake the feeling that there was something that she wanted to tell me. Something seemed to be tormenting her.

The day I told Caitlin and Cisco the news, she locked ran off locking herself in her lab. We found her uncontrollably crying, a part of her seemed to be in completer shock. But, I couldn't forget the look of complete horror that came over her when she heard the news. She kept apologizing and I couldn't understand why. 

Maybe it was finding out that it was Diane's own mother that took her way from us. Diane never spoke about her mother, overtime I asked about her past she never wanted to tell or explain what haunted her sometimes. I guess know I knew why she refused to do it. 

I wanted to kill her for killing Diane. For being as heartless as to kill her own daughter. But after two days of endless searching Oliver and I couldn't find a trace of her. It was like she completely disappeared. But I had a feeling that she was going to return.

She was going to return, because Jade was here. And I wasn't going to let her anywhere near Diane's sister. If I had to kill her I would.

For what seemed for the first time I dared to read the name on the tombstone. 

Diane Crock.

I felt like I wanted to scream. 

I did nothing and that was the worst part. I was so caught up in my pain and what I was feeling that I never stopped to realize that Diane had problems of her own. When it came to the fallout she had with Jade I never made sure that she really was okay. I never stopped to ask her how she was feeling.

This whole time I was only focused on catching Zoom. Only Zoom. 

Now I was left with this aching hole in my chest and a desperate need to do everything over again.

***

There were too many memories in this house. Both good and bad. I grew up in this house and now I was standing here as everyone around me talked about all the good times they had with Diane.