Disappearances

Part 1

        We all make choices. I made a choice when I disappeared. I won't regret it though.

        I have had secrets ever since we moved here. Ever since it happened. As a 17 year old I would naturally have enough secrets. I snuck out of the house occasionally to parties with girls that pretended to be my friends and boys that didn't even try to pretend that they wanted anything more than a good time.
        Yet I have a secret so dark that it could crush me. The secret cost me my connection to everyone and any hope of being close with my family. I like to tell myself that I would have lost them either way and that isn't exactly a lie. They wouldn't trust me ever again if I came clean.
          But for now I walk to school everyday along the dark alleys that keep me away from judging eyes. I know that I don't care about him anymore because I still walk past the spot where it happened without having to look away. The blood had been cleaned away by rain and wind. The blood of the self serving bastard that ruined my life. He was dead now and I didn't care most days, but today I cracked off the lid of the Pandora's box that kept my darkest thoughts and that even darker secret away from my mind.

*Cue not very convincing reason for a murder that starts all of this shit*

        I had known Toby Manchester for a few months now. He was sweet and laughed at my jokes. I had gotten into a certain habit of letting him be perfect in front of other people and being the thing that I hated and feared more then anything behind their backs. I ignored the fact that he was verbally degrading me just so that I could pretend for a few hours a day that I had a friend. He thought that I was stupid and useless so I thought that I was stupid and useless.
         One day I decided that I had had enough. I was walking with him along the back alleys as always. I shortened my stride enough so that I couldn't keep up. He stopped for me and I slowly made my way toward him.
        "Won't you keep up!!" He snarled.
        "I was thinking about it but now I'm sure. All you had to do was ask nicely."
        "Are you psychotic? What are you saying," he had increasing annoyance in his voice. He moved forward and pushed me against the wall with bone breaking force.
"Do you think you can ever escape me? Tsk. You're so stupid." He traced his finger along my chin and chuckled. His finger brushed my cheek as he crushed me against the brick wall.
        "Darling you're my toy." He dropped me and I choked down my tears as he delivered a kick to my stomach. A small trickle of blood dripped down my chin from the corner of my lips. The blood made him laugh, but the cold expression that I wore made him angry. He kept brushing hair out of my face and laughing. I lost control then. I attacked him with blind rage and pent up pain.
        I remember stabbing him once or twice and then running as fast as I could. The news report said otherwise.
        "Seventeen year old Toby Manchester was found dead in a back alley near local high school. Police are ruling the case as a murder. The victim was stabbed 10 times in the chest and abdomen. Police or working on a suspect list. More on this story later." My mother switched off the tv and muttered with disbelief under her breath.
        "Didn't you hang out with him?" I nodded and she shook her head again.
        "How does something like this happen? How... I mean it could have been you." She placed her forehead in her clasped hands and I looked away. It couldn't have been me under any circumstance. He was never brave enough to end a life.
        The next day they interviewed students at school. I was one of the last to be interviewed. They seemed more focused on my "loss" than on seriously interviewing me. I was excused and taken home by my mother.
         That night I found it hard to sleep. In fact I found it hard to get to sleep every night that week. I either was plagued with nightmares or filled with the feeling of someone watching me. One night I lay with my eyes closed but still very much awake. I heard my window being forced open and held my breath as a figure dashed around the dark corners of my room. It stayed still for a while and I started to blame the noises on paranoia and my own anxiety. Suddenly a screeching sound escaped from the windows old hinges. I shot upright and gasped as I saw the face that has haunted me ever since. The blue mask and black eyes with black tears. He jumped out of the window and disappeared, leaving me to my thoughts and newfound fear.

   *cue end of poorly written flashback*

             It's been months since I saw him. Things have gotten weird around here. There have been murders ever since I killed Toby Manchester. No, I didn't kill these people if that's what you are thinking. They are odd murders even though murder in general is odd in this town. Most of the victims are found missing their eyes, or stabbed to death in their sleep, or torn apart in the most gruesome manners. They pinned the murder of Toby Manchester on some previously arrested gang member but now there's panic due to the unsolved mystery of who was killing off people in this town.
         I thought of all the murders and secrets as I walked to school. I pulled my hoodie tight around myself as I passed the woods. It was a pleasant change from the alley but the woods creeped me out. I stopped walking for a moment and looked out into the thick forest. It was hard to distinguish a tree from something else that might be lurking in the dark. I heard a heavy footstep somewhere in the forest. I stupidly called out to the sound.
        "Hello?" Then I saw him. The mask, the eyes. It was all too familiar. He started to come towards me, slowly at first but then faster. I was frozen until he was only a few yards away. Then I ran. Not on the trail towards safety but into the woods towards an unknown future.
        I ran as fast as I could. I occasionally glanced back to see if he was still chasing me. I ran until I realized no one was behind me. No one was there. I backed myself into a tree so that I couldn't be attacked.
        I waited for what seemed like forever and then started to walk back to the trail. I made it in good time, my pace quickened by fear and adrenaline, but as I got closer to the central part of town I wondered if I should go back.
  They'll figure it out at some point.
  You're not safe back there.
  Do you believe they'll ever love you?
  Just trust me.
  I'll keep us safe.
        I trusted that voice that promised me to keep us safe. I turned back into the forest and walked. Walked until the blow on the back of my head came and the darkness took over.