the number one to arbury

invite

Here we are. 71 Cullen Close. Lina Taylor's house. I can see a shadow of someone walking down the stairs, but it looks like a man. I don't know if she lives with anyone else there and I'm not in the mood for guessing right now.

I park the car across the road from the house and go to the house. I knock on the door twice. No reply. Then I see the button under the number plaque. When I press the button I can hear a sound coming from inside. A moment later someone walks to the door to open it. The man I just saw. Sort of.

'Good evening,' I say.

'Good evening. And may I know why you are here?'

'I'm looking for Lina...'

'Who are you, by the way?'

'My sister's a friend of hers.'

'Wait a sec, I'm calling her first.'

I still don't know who he is and I'm not interested in knowing him. All I need to know is if he's on the lookout for me for Eyüp. But to ask a near stranger that, I have been asking a lot of strangers but that would be way off from my usual.

A woman walks down the stairs, tipping left and right, maybe just woke up. At the door, she says, 'Oh, hi there. Sorry about the face – fell asleep in the middle of a homework. What is it?'

I don't know who the man is but I know Lina's face. My sister'd shown me pictures of her a few times and she has a group photo including her for her phone wallpaper.

And maybe I shouldn't visit at this time because I seem to be interrupting either her study or her sleep. Or even both, depending on how you look at it.

'My brother's friends round here are already chasing me.'

'Come in, then, won't you.'

I get in and she closes the door, ushering me to the living room. I put my bag on the floor, resting on the armrest of the couch. The man who opened the door the first time is on the other side of the couch, playing with a tablet.

'Hello. Heard your sister's Lina's friend. What about you?'

'I only knew her name, that's all. At this point. And you?'

'We're cousins. By the way, what's your name?'

'Esra. Yours?'

'Well, look who's being close to Emi's sister,' Lina interrupts. She turns to me and says, 'Don't mind him. He can get a bit...off sometimes.'

'I see.'

'And this is how you introduce me to other people.'

'I'm just telling the truth. So there wouldn't be any unwanted surprises. Isn't that right?'

'Well, I haven't stayed here long enough to know that.'

'Never mind. How long are you gonna stay here?'

'I'm not sure. Maybe only a night or two. Maybe until they've stopped chasing me.'

'They who?' he asks.

'Long story short, her brother's chasing her after her sister's suicide and she'll be in danger if she ever gets caught by him. Problem is, he's got allies all over England.' After explaining that, she says, 'Shall we go to your room?'

I see his face one more time before following Lina upstairs to the guest room.

---

Esra still haunts my mind today.

She's in the hallways, she's in class, she probably even once came to the teacher's office asking Arabella for extra credit assignments. At least she's not in the security post watching me pray. Yet through this prayer, though I mouth the words, in my mind the words to the prayer is blurred with her words.

So I pray for her at the end of this prayer, not to make me not think of her again but just because I feel she needs it these days.

When I exit the security post, I can see Arabella standing right by the door.

'There you are,' she says.

'How long have you been waiting for me?'

'Five minutes, give or take. You pray really fast.'

And here I thought I was in there for something like ten.

'Because I don't know when someone's going to need me. Can't waste too much time. So, what is it you want to tell me?'

We walk down the hallway, back to the teachers' room. The hallway is lined with students just coming back from lunch, waiting for the end of the break when they have to go to class. I don't know if it's the prayer or it's just that there's a whole crowd of them as far as the eye can see, but Esra has already disappeared from the hallway this time.

'You've heard of the school dance, right?'

Right after she mentions that, we pass by the announcement board, with a poster for the event attached on it, among other things.

'Some of my students have been talking about it. And there's a poster on the board. What are you trying to say here, though? Do the teachers join too or is there a separate party in the teachers' room, or maybe something else I don't know?'

'Well, the head seems to trust the event committee, so probably a separate party, but we haven't talked about that much. Anyway, you already have a date in mind?'

'A date? The single ones are too young, the ones old enough are already married and will probably bring their own partners. And what about you? I'm guessing it's Twist...'

'Really, you should go with Kier. And Twist's already with Ellen, I heard him ask her out.'

'Kier's with Maggie. I think.'

'Do you mind, though, if...'

'If what?'

'Nothing.'

'No, Ara, seriously, just tell.'

'Look, I'll tell you later at the office, OK?'

'Fine.'

And she never did, not even until the final bell rang.

I check my phone every other minute for something from her – still nothing. Not a message, not a missed call. From when I arrive home to all the way in the night before I sleep.

But I know what it might just be. The school dance. She wants me to go with her there. As a date, as a friend, as a last resort, I have no idea.

It's already eleven PM and the thought of the first one keeps me awake. At first it's the sheer impossibility; as far as I know we're not that close, we're just friends, but that's what I feel. But then it might just be that I'm truly not the only one and that if given the right time and place...I might end up with feelings for her.

It's like being sixteen again but knowing more. In short, it feels...beautiful.