STORMS

trois

03 —
NICOTINE.

the lack of air conditioning in park jimin's home was almost worse than the heat traveling down jeongguk's throat. he'd walked to his friends goshiwon, which was a room students could rent out for studying. jimin uses the excuse he rented it to pursue his studies of his undying love for astrology, using the room as his own galaxy with the golden telescope handed down to him from his late grandfather. although it's really because he needed an escape from his home of loud screaming and glass object throwing caused by his parents who constantly fight. "guk, could you please not smoke in here? there's barely enough room for the two of us to sit properly, i don't need your nicotine spoiling my air." the elder whines as he hurriedly opens the only window in the room.

jeongguk doesn't budge, instead his mind wanders still of that girl, jiho her name was, trying to pinpoint just what was so captivating about her. "i met a girl the other day." jeongguk mumbles with the cigarette hanging from the right corner of his mouth.

"don't even tell me she reminds you of a certain someone."

jeongguk shuts his eyes recalling the happy summer days splashing his friends with the warm water of his favorite beach in busan. the pink roses, the green trees warm and cozy with all of its leaves, the zinging sound hidden behind the bushes and squinted sunny eyes. that was his favorite time, the time where everything was okay and the warmth of a cigarette didn't have to exist. the only warmth he needed was the yellow sun and the blossoming flower resting on his lap.

"if you're going to meet a girl, focus on her for who she is. not someone she resembles, guk. god you're horrible." jimin stands in front of the boy pulling his cigarette from between his lips and throws it out the small window. "get yourself together, you know what day it is."

today is the anniversary of his mothers death, a drunk driver clashing into the front of the car instantly killing her. jeongguk would've become an alcoholic rather than a smoker, could have easily died from alcohol poisoning since he wasn't a heavy drinker. but he doesn't want to be like the man who killed her, doesn't want to put his lips anywhere near the intense liquid. "i know."

the graveyard was no longer a place of sadness for jeongguk, instead he imagined all of the bodies glowing, basking in the sun with beautiful white silk clothing. the reality was much worse, but the cigarette boy created fantasies in his mind to cope with the fact his mother was gone. jeongguk walked through the stone filled grass, his white smoke floating into the air with baby's breath flowers in his left hand. everlasting love, pureness, and innocence. that's what they meant. jeon jeongmi, september third two thousand seven. "i'm sure you'd smack the hell out of me if you saw this cigarette in my hand."

the wind had brought a new smell along, something masking his nicotine. something like lavender. "i knew i recognized that smell of marlboro. i gave those to you for free thinking you wouldn't smoke them, who was i kidding? of course anyone would smoke free cigarettes." he blinks at the girl, not too sure why he kept running into her at the weirdest of places. "i always wondered who kept leaving so many baby's breath flowers at this grave. turns out it was you. say, jeongguk, you don't seem like a baby's breath kind of guy. you seem like black painted roses."

"you talk too much." jeongguk says in monotone as his lips wrap around the lung cancer. jiho stands next to the tall boy, only reaching just below his shoulders. he tries his best not to stare at the girl, looking beautiful once again with her glossed lips.

"what are you doing here?"

"i'm here for the same reason you are."

"what if i'm not here for the reason you think i am?"

"girls are complicated."

jeongguk would've hated the way she looked in that denim jacket, reminding him all too much of summer heartbreak and sunshine smiles, soft skin that glistened underneath the sunset. waves of fantasies splashing underneath their toes and dampening their rolled up jeans. reminding him of his first love. he sighs deeply at the headache taking control of his head, feeling like whenever he thought of such thing it appears. "sorry, but could you just give me your hand for a second?" jiho hesitates since her trust in men was almost nonexistent after taehyung. she slowly puts her hand out, flinching when jeongguk's ring decorated fingers wrap around her wrist; whispering a quiet shh as he places her hands over his messy locks.

"what are you doing?" her shoulders calm at the warmth of his head, his soft waves resting over her hand.

"what're you so worried for? i'm not gonna hurt you." he speaks carelessly. jeongguk knew what he was doing was wrong. whenever he'd get headaches his past lover would place her hands on his head, and it helped the slightest bit. maybe he was just too in love. but jiho nearly melts at his words i'm not gonna hurt you, was the small reassurance she never knew she needed. the comfort she begged for.

"promise?"

"yeah. promise."