STORMS

huit

08 —
HOPE.

it'd been a little over a month. a little over thirty days since she'd become accustomed to the soft inhaling and exhaling of translucent smoke from the lips of the nicotine boy that slowly grow paler each day. but it seems much too long to just be one month, considering all the times they've accidentally met, or even the times wherin jeongguk would wait outside of the convenience shop in the same red plastic table that taehyung sat when they were still together. sometimes it sends chills down her spine as she walks toward the table because a part of her trembles with the thought that, what if it was taehyung? what if he was back, and darker than ever with strong hands to nearly shatter her wrists just to prove that kim taehyung was never left. to prove he leaves first.

but the sensation eases down with every step that she recognizes the back of jeongguk's messy and curled hair, fingers tapping on thigh with headphones locked in each ear. yes, a month, thirty days was enough time to capture just a few of his small habits. sometimes he'll chew on his lips in between his words, or other times he'll fiddle with the ends of his sleeves when he's run out of things to say. and lately his cold fingertips that lingered with the scent of hidden tobacco would brush the hair out of her eyes. jiho would've let her heart continue to beat with the thought that it could be something more than just a small act. but it's an old habit, he says.

the idea of such actions was never something jiho could talk about. which is why it means the world to her, literally, as it feels like falling waterfalls making love onto bronze rocks; feels like the sun revolving around the earth, even the stars like fire and bursting supernova. the world and all of it's creations could not compare to the feeling of being around jeon jeongguk.

though no matter how much she enjoyed his company, lately there had been worrisome things that have caught her keen eyes. for instance, noticing his struggle to hold in his umpteen coughs, constant fishing in his pockets for something other than cigarettes, and excusing himself to the bathroom to swallow down the pint sized pain killers. just so she doesn't have to see how many times he uses them. the last thing he wanted to do was show her the rotting side of him, but sooner or later the excuse of having a 'bad cold' would wear out. he'd have to tell her. eventually.

as the trees let go of summer, welcoming a body numbing temperature that painted the snowflakes on her cheeks red, she'd grown fond of the new season. the idea let her mind think she could have a new start along with the new weather. the sun bids farewell much earlier now, just in time for the stars to twinkle, and that means she'd start to see him sooner. because he always came when the sun set.

perhaps afraid was a good word to describe herself lately. would the universe let her fall in love again? would the stars collide in a way that would allow her to be happy for once? she stood in place behind the beige counter, eyes focusing beyond the glass doors into the melting sky. and suddenly there it was, the plunging of her heart as it skips into the horizon singing beautiful song. a damp texture creeps upon the lines within her palms. all because she spotted him slouched against the plastic chair with remnants of light from the lampposts reflecting onto his blank expression. the sun has set, and she's never been more happy over the disappearance of light.

she hops over the counter and happily strides outside where the sudden change in temperature clashes with her radiating body heat. the hairs on her bare arms raise as she is clothed in nothing but a t–shirt and skinny jeans. "guk. you're here." she nearly whispers, lips rising uncontrollably. jiho felt her cheeks softly transition to heat, more than likely looking a lovely apricot as she acknowledged the existence of the tired boy in front of her. compared to her, jeongguk's cheeks never changed color (if one would ignore the sudden paleness) or maybe it has and she's never noticed, but she had in fact noticed a drastic change in how the bones in his cheeks portrude more than they did five days ago.

was he eating? does he not feel well?

the thought petrified jiho. but who was she to tell? he could be on a diet for all she knows. it's not like she knew him very well anyways.

she observes the boy before her, elbow propped onto the red plastic–like table with jaw resting in palm. the sight is of satisfaction, someone being there for her, a sense of caring that she'd have to get used to. the thought of it all is solace in her much too long time of loneliness.

jiho watches as he fiddles with a straw that was three sizes too big for his small can of soda. "i'd say we're past the stage of just 'meeting again'. i think we're friends now. what do you think, guk?" she asks with an eager heart.

"friends." he mumbles softly before taking a large sip of fizz that tickles his nose. "anything that gets me free stuff at this place." he jokes.

"ji."

"guk?"

names leave their mouths at the same time, both startled at the aforementioned fact. she nudges for him to speak first after thinking her question of have you ever been in love before is too bold for a broken pair that had just become friends.

jeongguk inhales deeply, chest covered by an oversized black sweatshirt popping out in a soothing rythym. "how did you . . ." his eyebrows furrow as he processes the rest of his question. his fingers find interest in the leftover ashes from his previous cigarette scattered on the table. "how did you move on so fast?" he's taken back to that night where he first layed eyes on her, drenched by the salty rain with sadness running down her face. he'd never seen such shattered beauty, no, not since years ago. he hates himself for digging the soles of his interest into the depths of heartbroken women because he somehow holds the power to heal them even if he can't heal himself.

jiho is taken aback by the question, though it was not as intense as hers, but she only smiles. "move on? guk, i don't think 'move on' is the right term. maybe i was in love with him for a split second, but every millisecond felt so wrong. i hate him, jeongguk. i really do but even if that's so there's not a day that goes by where i don't accidentally think about how he used to sleep talk, or how he likes his eggs runny, or . . . how much he could change within a minute." she was crestfallen as she ends the statement with lingering mystery. "he hurt me. and that's that."

"seems so easy for you. it's been years and i haven't forgotten the day she left." jeongguk had never been good at letting things go, especially those he'd grown a special attachment to like his action figure that his father broke because of the 'false hope' it'd given four year old jeongguk. he wanted to save the world. but these days it seems jeongguk needed the saving.

the day she left is stamped into his brain, haunting him in picture perfect scene interrupting his daily activities. windblown hair with blueberry sunglasses to accompany strawberry cheeks. his most beloved beauty suddenly evaporated into thin air as if she was never there. like it was all a joke. but jeongguk never laughed. jiho's shoulders sink at the thought of jeongguk having someone he still thinks about. perhaps it was too obvious since jeongguk instantly regrets opening up. "sorry," he mumbles lowly. "i didn't mean to make this so depressing. how was your—"

"tomorrow. meet me here when the sun sets, like you normally do. i think we both need to get things off of our chest." she brushes her hair behind her shoulders, eyes twinkling beneath the stars. beauty, unforgotten and filling his empty void. maybe jiho could be a fresh start.

"okay. when the sun sets."

as soon as the sky melts once again, blending its tropical fruits into a messy splatter of black licorice. as soon as the sun says goodbye and moon says hello, he will be there.

—
a/n

hello! i just wanted to say that i'm so happy people are enjoying this book. i feel like jiho and jeongguks relationship is a bit confusing though. basically they're friends now, but they still don't really know each other. they both find a sense of comfort in each other because they've both been through utter shit and have lost something in their lives.

+ i know many people are probably wanting to know who jeongguks ex mystery lover is, but i promise you'll know soon. from here on out i'm going to start growing ji and guk' relationship!