STORMS

dix

010 —
FEELING.

if she wasn't listening to jeongguk ramble about stories he's told many times, she's listening to the small things that make him, him. like the sound the heels of his shoes create when it meets the gravel, to his uneven breathing, occasional sniffles he blames the cold on and his umpteen coughs, the dangling of his metal earrings that whistle in the wind. all of which create the most mysterious and endearing man, all that make her want more. the smell of his leather became a sense of comfort in the late night; she grew dangerously fond of the company he was.

all horrendous events of the night aside, her sweet thoughts and pulsing heartbeat was able to mask the usual sounds of the night—insects singing song behind rustling bushes, shot glasses clinking behind brick walls and cheap wallpaper—with her heart. that is, if jeongguk continued to allow his arm to carelessly brush against hers as they walked with the glistening sky above them, no true destination. even the small contact was enough of a distraction. until jeongguk reaches his arm forward, an empty white stick from the sucker she'd given him previously in his hand, and sends a look her way. before she even thinks of words to shoot down his ear she reaches in her pocket to supply him with yet another sucker. jiho stuffs the yellow caffeine into his mouth with an eyebrow raised, the boy smiling with a large lump in his left cheek. "i suppose getting addicted to caffeine would be much better than nicotine. that's what you'd say, at least."

she feels the sensation of her cheeks filling in like a child's coloring book, apricot painting her away from below his eyes that shaped crescents the moment he smiled. it was something about the way he stared, his gaze beyond the bursted stars and deeper than the shade of coffee bean, passion and longing traced his pupils. she could only wonder when he started thinking about things she'd say. and as if things couldn't get any warmer, her body acted as the sun with the way fragments of heat overwhelmed her like a soft summer. "so you're willing to throw away your cigarettes?" jiho says a tad too hopeful. she reaches for the pocket in his bomber jacket and snags his remaining pack, waving them in the air so ready to throw them into the clique of trees by their side.

jeongguk sighs heavily, an all too familiar look sent her way. "i'd need something else to get addicted to, get my mind off the cigs. shouldn't be too hard, though." his last statement was accompanied by the softest of smiles, one that become less broken than the last. his words sounded exactly how he meant it. before his eyebrows furrow in distraught and suddenly he drowns in his pool of unwanted thoughts. he laughs off his own words, fearing his own boldness. "who knows, maybe i'll get addicted to alcohol or something. just promise me if i ever do that you'll kill me." jeongguk's hatred for alcohol stands tall while jiho gasps greatly at his response. she never could understand why he despised alcohol but within her she felt it wasn't her place to inquire. even though the answer was placed in front of her that one day at the graveyard, his mother a victim of a tragic drunk driving crash.

a good question to ask instead would be, why were we both there on that day?

they'd approached a somewhat busy area of busan which normally becomes more populated late at night for the bare reason of its many shops that light up the night and food stands that spread a delicious aroma. but a certain smell dances it's way to jeongguk's nose and enlightens him in nostalgia. a food stand which he'd visit after school as a child. he searches his pocket for money, even coins if he must, which always turns out to be a rarity, but he had just enough for jiho. before he jogs away to the stand he tells her to wait near the red tent where middle aged men drown in soju and overeat, which maybe wasn't the best idea since a drunken man had already targeted her.