STORMS

sept

07 —
TELLING.

faint creaks hidden within the walls and nothing but the groans of the freezer does a weak job in masking the silence that engulfs the two boys. jeongguk almost feels the questionable tension seeping into his bones. he looks at his friend who's slanted eyes are glued to the bottles of soju, lips parting in attempt to speak but nothing comes out. the smaller ponders if the words that escaped his friends lips were true. jeon jeongguk who used to cry when jimin smushed bugs with his tiny toes, who always ran to the television—sometimes knees skidding against the carpet—to watch the next episode of his favorite superhero. that same child had grown into a cigarette boy, and after all the unfortunate events in his life he's cursed with a brain tumor?

jeongguk fixates his orbs to his palms, sweaty with regret and discomfort wishing to go home and blast his stupid rock music that doesn't ever fix anything. his music and cigarettes never bandage over his wounds, but he still places the stick between his lips and inhales all of his bad choices. "you're telling me you have a brain tumor, but you're sitting there with a fucking cigarette in your mouth? jesus, guk! get your shit together." jimin's small fingers snatch the nicotine, before taking one large puff. jeongguk eyes the boy, brows rising and an airy scoff of disbelief. "i need to get my shit together, too. dammit!" he tosses the cigarette into the empty bottles of soju, then sitting back with his feet up onto the table. "that's horrible, by the way."

"what is?" jeongguk accompanies his friend in a relaxing position, timberlands creating a loud thump when they meet the table.

"your cigarettes. tastes horrible." jimin ignores the fact that he wasn't only talking about the cigarettes, he was sick with sadness over the fact his closest friend has a brain tumor. he's scared to lose more people.

"jimin," the gloomy boy sighs. "don't you ever wish you never met taehyung? 'cause i sure as hell do." jeongguk laughs. not of true laughter, but of sadness. "i wish everything was a lie and i wish you two would stop acting like nothing happened." jimin observes the rotting state of jeongguk, his palms clasped together and eyes drooping in insomnia. he connects the pieces. how jeongguk couldn't ever sleep anymore, how he ran to the bathroom and threw up but covered it up saying he just had a bad cold, how he used up all of jimin's pain medication, but most of all he was not what he used to be. of course, events two years ago played a big part in the change of his friend, but sometimes he didn't seem to be . . . with him, in the metaphorical aspect.

"it's called moving on, guk. she's gone."

their heads turn at the sound of dangling keys hitting against the door, twisting then revealing kim taehyung in all his menacing glory with clinking plastic bags. "is the jeon jeongguk actually in my house? holy shit, he's alive!" jeongguk hears the quiet mutter from jimin. most likely motioning taehyung to shut the hell up, especially after hearing the shocking news. the tall man strides toward the sofa, placing the plastic bags full of liver–killing substance onto the table. the distinct and uncomfortably nostalgic smell of strong and rich pine reaches jeongguk's nostrils, the coldness that radiates off of his golden skin embraces the boy's paleness. "it's like old days," taehyung breathes in as he smiles. "good to see you again, old friend." he places his long fingers in front of the boy.

"i'm not here to spend time with you." jeongguk pushes his cold hands aside. taehyung nods along, still holding that fake smile across his face. jeongguks' index finger points to his head, thumb pointing up as if resembling a gun. "my brain is rotting." he mumbles lowly, nearly in a whisper. "medically, it's a brain tumor. to me i'm just . . . slowly withering." he decides to keep quiet about how things turned out this way, that taehyung was the very one who planted the rotting seed inside of his head.

"i'm not quite sure what to say. i know you're not one for pity." his fingers rub his chin as he sighs. "get well soon?" asshole. jeongguk glowers at the person he loathes most, perhaps more than the drunk driver who crashed into his mother. he stands up roughly, sending the sofa back and inches from taehyung's face.

"don't ever contact me again, asshole." jeongguk makes his way to the door, hands around the golden knob. "you're like a black hole, kim taehyung. you always suck people in and suddenly, they're gone." the door shuts behind him leaving the man to burst into laughter. he knew exactly what he was talking about, and he finds it hilarious how jeongguk still couldn't let things go.

but kim taehyung never cared about the people he sucked in to his black hole.

"you called him an asshole and slammed the door? my god, guk. i don't think i'd ever have the courage to do that." he'd be lying if he said he wasn't surprised to find himself outside of the convenience store, his legs subconsciously took him here. he stood outside for just a while, counting how many times choi jiho brushed her fingers through her soft hair, or each time she tapped her small fingers against the counter while counting up spare change. and when she smiled, when her pink lips slowly rose on each corner, the anger washed away and he wanted nothing more than to collect the stars that belonged in her glossy eyes.

they sat outside at the spare tables with plastic chairs as the sun set, blowing on hot ramen. for free, jiho said. since they were friends now. jeongguk only hummed in response, twirling the wooden chopsticks in the hot soup as his appetite faded away. "i had a boyfriend once, who sounds just like your friend. i broke up with him that night i met you."

"i wish i never met him." they say in unison. ironic how they spoke of the same boy without knowing.

jeongguk lifts his head up, tired of staring into the noodles that were slowly getting cold. instead he stared intently into her eyes, trying to find the one thing about her he was so drawn to. trying to find something other than the fact she was just a reminder. because he hates that he keeps coming back to her to fill the emptiness. "ji." she smiles softly each time he calls her ji, each time his midnight eyes latched with hers. but something about him made her scared to fall, maybe it was his mysterious darkness, or the fact she felt like there was so much to learn about him. and she had yet to know the reason behind his many coughs and appearance that gets worse each time she sees him. "promise you won't disappear one day." losing people should not become a routine.

"i'm not going anywhere, guk. busan has too many memories for me to leave." her smile fades at the things she misses most, her family, her best friend lee iseul for fucks sake. she wants them all to come back with wide arms, just like the old days. "guk, don't you think a fresh start sounds nice sometimes?" he nods his head slowly. it sounds amazing, but he is incapable of letting the past go. when the doctor told him of his curse he wished hard every night, staring up into the starry sky, wished the tumor would take away his memories.

perhaps jeongguk and jiho were too alike in the things they miss the most.