No Rest for the Wicked (thinking about deleting idk)

#10 First Love

The only clue she'd left was her journal on the ground. She had been halfway through writing it when... I don't know. But we could only assume the worst.

So we stayed low for two weeks.

That meant no 'exploring', no rescue missions, no nothing. I had never been so depressed. Every day, I would go to my tent and silently cry. Fiona was in the hands of the enemy. Or maybe not even that. Maybe she was dead.

Max would come and support me some days, but only some. He didn't understand how I felt, how much I'd felt we'd let her down. Instead to keep himself busy he spoke to Arriane. Which infuriated me.

"Why the hell do you have to be so selfish? You can't stick with the same girl for 2 days!" I yelled at him one day, in front of everyone at the campfire one morning.

"What on Earth is your problem Victoria? I've done nothing but help you! Why do you have to be so sensitive when I talk to Arriane? At least she's actually talking to me, whereas you do nothing but cry all day!" I shot him a hurt look and picked up my pack.

"Everyone, just give me a break! I've just lost my best friend, and you expect me to just forget about it? To treat it as if it doesn't matter?"

"So I'm not your best friend, huh? I'm not your friend at all is what your saying, that's what you're treating me like. Plus Fiona was my friend too, do you think I don't care about her? Well I've got some news for you Victoria, I've been upset ever since you betrayed me on the beach, do think this is making it any better?" Argued Arriane. They seemed to be ganging up on me.

"I never betrayed you Arriane! We knew each other from the start, the only reason he was so nice to you was because he thought you were me!"

"Well I certainly don't think I know you anymore." Said Max, and he looked at me coldly.

"Fine, have it your way. I'm leaving this place," I stomped off towards the beach. He'd hurt me so bad that I'd felt like he'd left a gaping hole where my heart used to be.

I walked 3 miles, then had a break by a tree. I needed some time to think.

I thought about China, how much she was disliked by the group. She was our age, she'd been through the same things as us, and yet she was so confident and acted as if it had never happened. Did she ever feel pain, pain from the loss of her parents, did she ever feel alone? It had seemed like she'd told us most of the story, so why did it feel like something was missing? Why didn't I feel the same way with Max and Bren?

Bren. Somehow, he always manages to find a way to blend in with the small crowd that we had, and yet he was one of our strongest leaders. He seemed to hang out with China, quite a bit. They seemed to have some kind of connection between each other.

And Max. I has judged him wrong. He had lured me in, persuaded me. I thought I liked him. But now, my feelings for him were fading. He'd never liked me. Apparently, I'd 'changed'. He had moved on.

But Arriane. She was the one who had really changed. She used to be so bubbly, bright and fun to be around. It was usually Arriane who would break Fiona and I up when we were fighting. Now it had swapped. What had happened to the old Arriane, the one who made us laugh, the one who had never, ever been this horrible to me? I would never know.

Maybe it was just me. I as going through some moody teenage stage in life. What kind of excuse was that? What had I done wrong in the past few days? Fiona had been taken, it had been our fault. Of course I wouldn't be my nice and happy self. I needed space, I needed to get things figured out. Am I the only one going through this?

I sipped my water. I had the sudden urge to turn back, to say that I was sorry. But I wasn't sorry. I'd done nothing wrong. I was too angry at them for me to want to say sorry.

Once I'd reached the beach, I turned left to climb the cliff. The reason I hadn't climbed it earlier was because it was too high that end, I had to only climb about 4-5 metres from here.

By evening I was settled in. I set up a small hut-looking thing for cover with some old debris I'd collected along the beach. Not too far away was a river, from which I could drink fresh water. Seeing as it was too dark to hunt for food, I had to eat an egg from 2 weeks ago... Raw and almost rotten.

The soft splashing from the river put me to sleep easily that night. When I woke up a cool frost had covered the area. I put on my jacket and collected as many berries and edible plants as I could. For breakfast I had blackberries, for lunch I had cherries, and for dinner I had blackberries again. Occasionally I'd caught a rabbit or two, but my knife was too blunt to take all of the skin off.

After 4 days the novelty started to wear off, during the night I'd heard things other than the river. One time, a heard something growl, similar to a bear of some sort. I stayed as quiet and still as a rock, as I heard it slowly walking past me. It didn't recognize me as its meal, thank god.

On the fifth day I considered moving. Not back to the camp, I wasn't ready for that quite yet, but somewhere a bit less animal populated. I put all of the stuff that I needed into my pack, but didn't leave straight away. I needed to relax some more. I lay on my back under the shade of a tree, using my pack as a pillow. And then I fell into a deep sleep.

I dreamt of me dancing with daisies in a meadow, there were thousands of them. They moved their heads side to side, and I kept spinning and spinning, laughing to myself. But then I heard soldiers marching from a distance, and the daisies drooped their heads, they went from yellow to black. The soldiers came up to me, and told me that I was not allowed to dance, it was breaking the law...

"Victoria, wake up," I jolted upright, muttering something about the daisies from my dream. Max hugged me, I didn't realize it was it was him until halfway through the hug. Wait, why was he hugging me? Why was he here?

"Stop it," I said sternly and he slowly leant back. I was still sitting down, and so was he. "Just leave me alone. I don't like people who watch me sleep. Or people who tell me that I cry all day..."

He pushed me against the tree, and came up to me close.

"I've been at camp, wishing that I could have taken those words back every single day," he said.

"I'm not buying it."

"Please. I swear. I know I don't deserve it, I'm telling the truth. I'm sorry."

"Um, you've kinda rammed me into a tree here, I don't think-" He put his hands on my shoulders and smashed his lips against mine, strong and fierce. I pushed him back a little so I could breathe. "Stop, listen to me-" He pushed me harder against the tree, we were standing up. 

I pulled away. I looked at him, longingly. I didn't mean to, but it was all getting a bit too much.

"I missed you," he said. But then I got angry again.

"How do I know you aren't just trying to get me to come back? How do I know everyone else back at camp told you to set me up?"

"Believe me!" And he kissed me again. I took a breath in. Whoa, this was intense. He stood close, I rested my arms around his neck. I looked into his eyes. I had never been this close before.

"Then answer this question. When did you first 'like' me?"

"The moment I first laid my eyes on you. Too easy."

"Ok, good. Just checking..."