Poems About God

The Sinner's Tears

As I stand in this dark place

there is no mystery as to how I got here

I knew the path all too well

When I started I knew there was only one way this journey could end

But I chose to walk it anyway

Why should I be surprised that I despise where I find myself and who I am?

What is the use of wishing now that this time I had refused to take this path?

There is no one to blame save myself.

I once again saw the lights, the colors that appeared so enticing

knowing full well that they were but an illusion

I once again heard the promises

knowing full well that they were lies

I once again felt the rush of excitement

knowing full well that it only led to pain

I ignored everything I know to be true

as I walked into this dark place deep in the recesses of my heart

Now that I find myself once again covered in filth invisible to all but you

I am not sure what shames me the most

the fact that this place still resides in my heart

or the fact that I cannot hide it from you

or the fact that I gave in and followed this path again

or the fact that the only road back is over your broken body.

I stand here in fear

Is this the time I give up?

Is this the time I resign myself to living in the stench of this place?

Is this the time that you have lost all patience with me?

Is this the time I will not cry out to you

the time my tears will not flow?

In the midst of my fear I feel a tiny drop of blood land on my head

and begin to roll down the side of my face

It is your blood, blood that I caused to flow so many centuries ago

As it slowly makes it way to my cheek

my tears start to flow blending with the blood

It is this mixture that creates a streak down my face

as it gently washes the blackness in its path

It is quickly followed by another drop

which mixes with yet another tear from my eyes

soon I am covered by both blood and tears

soon I am washed clean of this dark place

soon I find myself back in the light

I know that this time

as there always well be there was enough blood to save me

but next time will there be tears?

The hope of the world is that there is always enough blood

the despair of the world is that there is never enough tears.

So I plead with you, I pray the only words that I can find that

no matter how often I stray down this path

no matter how deep I fall

no matter how many lies I knowingly accept

never allow me to forget there is always enough blood

and never never allow my tears to dry up