14 | give in

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AN HOUR'S SEARCH had yielded no results. Adele had traipsed through the forest in the dead of night, dragging her sore limbs through the snow as she called Caleb's name but he was nowhere to be found. His tracks had disappeared into the forest, fading beneath the snowfall that hid his path. She had headed straight for the river, walking along the same frozen path she had shown him before, but there was no sign of him anywhere.

When it had struck midnight, she had headed back home with a distinct taste of dread on her tongue. It had taken a while for her to get to sleep when she couldn't get Caleb out of her head, unable to shake the awful feeling in her gut that reminded her of every bad decision she had made. She spent half an hour in the shower that night, the water as hot as she could bear as she had scrubbed herself of Angus until her skin was raw, only adding to the hurt he had caused her.

She showered again in the morning, washing every inch of her body three times over as her thoughts flipped uncontrollably between fury and despair, guilt and pain. She felt weak, and that hurt the most. She had given herself up to Angus, letting him in when she hadn't wanted him there, and now Caleb was gone and she felt as though she had betrayed herself as much as him.

He was the one she actually cared about, the one she wanted to protect, and he had fled. Now, she felt more alone than ever.

There was something there. She couldn't deny it; she hadn't tried to. When she saw the hurt in Caleb's eyes, she felt it in her heart. When she heard it in his voice, his words pricked her skin. When she thought about him alone out there, running from her, her stomach curdled. That wasn't what she had wanted: that was what she wanted to avoid. All she had wanted to do was keep Angus on her side, to keep trouble away and to keep Caleb safe, and she had failed on all counts.

Up before the sun, she zipped up her boots and buttoned her coat, slinging her shotgun over her shoulder. If she was going to spend the day searching the forest, she wanted to be productive about it: her table was clear, her freezer ready and waiting for another kill. Finishing off her coffee, she dropped her mug into the sink and filled a flask with fresh brew. Just in case she found him. It wasn't for her.

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