38 | no time to lose

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THE CALL ENDED. The phone dropped from Adele's shoulder when she moved her head, the sturdy mobile clattering on the hardwood floor, but the racket didn't wake Jade. She was completely unconscious in a way she hadn't been for two weeks, resting in a moment of utter peace. Adele had a suspicion it had been longer than a fortnight since Jade had really been able to relax. She could feel her breaths spiralling out of control, her heart racing so fast that she felt as though she was going to throw up or pass out, or both.

She had to go. But she couldn't. But she had to. Ainslie needed her. Caleb needed her. Reed needed her.

She sprang to her feet, Fiona still clutched in her arms. She had finished feeding and she had settled, lying content in her aunt's arms. Adele nudged Jade, shaking her shoulder to no avail. "Jade," she said, the solitary word a shaky one. "Jade, you have to wake up. I need to go." She shook harder until Jade took a sharp breath and blearily opened her eyes.

"Adele?" She stared up at her baby sister, still half asleep. Her face crumpled. "I dreamt you died. I dreamt he killed you."

"I'm right here; I'm fine," Adele said, "but I need to go. I really need to go." She held out Fiona but Jade didn't take her. She sat up, an effort to move, and her face twisted as though she was in agony.

"Don't move," she said, gut-wrenching desperation in her voice. "You can't leave me, I need you. Fiona needs you." She shook her head, her eyes welling with tears that effortlessly snaked down her cheeks.

"Ainslie needs me," Adele said. She picked up her phone, stuffing it into her pocket. "Is there anyone I can get to take the baby? Is there someone who can come in and check on you?"

"I don't have any friends. I don't have anyone," Jade said, covering her mouth when she cried. "I only have Fiona and she hates me."

"Don't be ridiculous. Come on, Jade, you know she doesn't hate you. But I really have to go. I can come back tomorrow. Will you two be ok until then?" She tried to get Jade to take the baby but she didn't move.

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