It's My Mistake ~ PUBLISHED

Chapter 6

"I didn't think you wanted to see me again?" said a rather sombre young man. We were sat in that same new bar in the city where I went with Olivia. I was nursing a glass of white wine nervously in my hands, staring down at it while one hand on my face and my elbow resting on the table in front of me. I was deep in thought, contemplating the meaning of life. Well, my life. I wasn't sure if I wanted to be here or not, but it was my choice.

The man in front of me was attractive in a young boyish way. He had a round face, raven black hair and round brown eyes. He was relatively handsome, but not someone you would remember days later if you met him again in a bar. Once, a long time ago, I found him attractive. There was still a bit of attraction there, but I wasn't sure if that attraction was due to his looks anymore. He was just familiar. Now I was sure he just looked young. Too young. Maybe borderline immature. Had I really grown up that much since the last time I saw him?

Not long after I had hung up on this strange Dan person, I had the urge to unblock Simon's number and talk to him. Maybe make sure things were definitely broken off? Or, I guess, a part of me was a little upset we had drifted apart so abruptly. We had been pretty close before I decided to stop talking to him.

Simon had taken me to his own apartment after a meal out. Although it wasn't really romantic, it was an awful meal, but we joked about it all the way to his apartment. After we got into the flat, we were both feeling a little too comfortable. We were about to get a little more comfortable, our first time actually getting that physical, when his flatmate had walked in on us. I was just glad that I hadn't undressed too much.

But it dawned on me afterwards that things with Simon were going way too quickly for my liking. It wasn't that long after I had come out of another relationship. A bad relationship too. I don't think I ever got over it. My last partner cheated on me and I had made a vow to myself not to rush into anything, especially since I found out Simon hadn't been with anyone for a while before me.

I had rushed wordlessly out of Simon's apartment in a panic. Without even explaining anything to him. In fact, that was the last time I both saw and spoke to him. I didn't intend to leave it that way. At least not until I got a text from him a few minutes later. He had ended up blurting out how much he liked me, how I was the one, and he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. I never replied, I panicked.

But, of course, this went on for days and then weeks; him texting me and telling me how much he liked me. Every time he text me, I would fall farther into a pit of uneasiness that I ended up just deciding to block his number. In my head I figured I'd unblock it when I was ready to talk to him.

That was a few months ago.

It wasn't until after I had organised this strange date—or whatever it was—with this Dan guy that I started to feel guilty. I hadn't actually officially ended things with Simon, and after hanging up on Dan, I also started to miss Simon. With him things were easy. Or at least, I knew where I stood with him. I didn't even know if I was going on a date with this Dan guy.

"I nearly didn't," I replied honestly, looking up from my wine and at Simon.

"Well, I'm glad you did. I've missed you," Simon replied, reaching over the table to touch my hand. I pulled away, I wasn't sure I was ready for him to touch me again.

I suddenly felt awkward. "Simon, look, I only wanted to talk to you to just apologise for what I did. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have—"

"That's okay. I realised afterwards I was wrong," he interrupted.