god i want to scream / it's like an endless symphony of hell inside my brain / coupled with the tick tocking of / the never ending clock / and the rhythmic beating / of my heart / it never stops does it / the noise / the life / i gag on the essence of it / it tastes sour / and bitter / and everything garbage / it mutes everything / that made it sweet / (what turned it sewer-nasty?) / the colour has turned / from bright to dark / and the hues / god i used to see colour / i used to see goddamn colours / i used to paint them / and breathe in them / (you're not supposed to) / and one guy even ate them / (you're not supposed to) / and i created worlds with them / i was a god / and the strokes were my magic / but they all look the same fucking dusty gray now / it looks dim /just like the future ahead of me / my fingers shake / as they desperately hold onto a paintbrush / that belonged to my previous life / can you see the peeling paint / it belonged to the house of my sane mind / does it end / does it end
ALT. CALLED: YOU ASKED ME IF I WAS FINE
YOU ARE READING
I, Girl
Poetryi am my own god, my own spirit, my own prayer. -- a complete series of 44 poems concerning girlhood, dread, and catholic guilt.
