My Imaginary Ex (COMPLETE)

Chapter 9

Coffee shop, present day

"Holy shit!" Marjorie declared.

I told them the short version of what had happened. That Zack suddenly started seeing me a lot, not mentioning at all that he had a new girlfriend. I concluded with the last time I saw him at Ramon's birthday dinner.

I did not tell them about the kiss because that would just tangle with whatever they thought they knew about me and Zack.

Lena didn't know any of this either. "So wait...you didn't even know he and Marjorie had broken up?"

I shook my head. "No. I don't know what kind of friendship you think we have, but we don't really talk about you two."

Marjorie snapped her fingers. "That's why she got him to propose to her!"

"What?" I said.

Marjorie groaned. "Kimmy is motivated when she's threatened. She's like that at work, and it makes sense that she's like that with Zack. She usually treats him like crap except when she feels that someone might take him away from her."

"You think he hung out with me only to make her jealous?" I felt my face going red, ten years of progress with my self-esteem going down the drain.

Lena put a hand on my arm. "We don't know that. We know he likes you by default."

Marjorie shrugged. "Unless he was telling Kimmy that he was seeing you when they weren't together. But who knows?"

"Then they deserve each other," I spat, starting to feel angry on top of feeling betrayed.

"Wait," Lena, obviously the more romantic of Zack's two exes, said. "Think about this. It's possible that their relationship was going bad and Zack was running to you for help."

"He never said anything," I grumbled.

"But that's always been his problem, right? He never says anything. Not even when it's important."

"This is what I think happened," Marjorie said. "Kimmy was treating him like crap. So he was thinking of breaking up with her, but rather than actually doing it which would have made sense, he started to reconnect with you, Jasmine. Then when you all see each other at Ramon's dinner, Kimmy suddenly sees how hot you are."

"Your reasoning is flawed," I pointed out. "Kimmy is a supermodel. She will not be intimidated by me."

Marjorie looked at Lena. "Has she always been this clueless?"

Lena smiled knowingly. "Yes. And she's supposed to be a psych major too."

"Jasmine, trust me, you are beautiful. Sure, not the way Kimmy's got all the height and smoking bod, but she's heard enough stories about you to know that you totally get Zack, intellectually, emotionally, and stuff. Plus you have all that history."

I wanted to contradict her but Lena gave me a look that shut me up.

Marjorie continued, "She comforted herself with the knowledge that because she's all fabulous and sexy, Zack will never leave her. Then she finally met you and realized what Lena and I did years ago."

"What is that?"

"That you are exactly who Zack wants."

Cognitive dissonance is when your mind is unable to accept two contradictory ideas and is quite bothered about letting both ideas exist at the same time. Sometimes the brain selects only the thing it can process and ends up creating its own warped version of reality. That's what I was feeling right then.

For almost ten years I had pretty much trained myself to ignore what people said about me and Zack. Because these people had no idea what they were talking about. If they actually believed that I was Zack's ex, then nothing they said applied. It was like their words existed in this alternate reality that I pretended to live in.

But all of a sudden, I wished that what Marjorie said was true. I knew she was basing it on a false assumption, and was most likely wrong, but...

If she knew that I was never Zack's ex, would she and Lena have come to the same conclusion?

Would they still think that this girl Zack kept talking about was someone he was in love with, or just a friend?

I wanted it to be true, though. So badly that it took me by surprise.

That's why you felt you were punched in the gut when you saw him with Kimmy. That's why you hadn't been able to call him since you got the wedding invitation.

Oh, God, I was in love with Zack. No matter what Lena and Marjorie believed, I at least knew how I felt. And it was a horrible thing to feel one month before his wedding.

"I don't know if he still wants me," I said slowly. "But I've got to tell him how I feel."

"You're in?" Lena asked.

"So what do I do?"