Neptune ↠ Sebastian Stan [✓]

THIRTY ONE

     The smell of pancakes woke up Luz, making her get up from bed with her sock and pajamas still on. She slowly made her way downstairs where she heard the very familiar song her dad would play on every anniversary of her mom's death, her birthday, or their anniversary. She was used to it, just like how her dad would make her favorite food on those days too. She didn't mind, she just wanted to be there for him.

"Morning papi," she mumbled while hugging him as soon as she saw him, causing him to smile.

"Morning my love," he kissed the top of her head before she sat down in the chair belonging to the aisle in the kitchen. "How did you sleep?"

"All good, you?" She asked before setting her head down in her hands.

"As usual on this days," he replied and she nodded along. "Today just felt like she was there with me."

"She is always with us papi, always," she added before he put the plate in front of her and soon enough they both began to eat. 

He had made the choice to stay in the house they had gotten together, it was their dream house, and he knew that he couldn't just throw it away. However, he didn't have the strong will to take her things out and donate them. They were all still there. No matter how much people had asked him to move on, to him it felt like cheating on him. He still wore his wedding ring and had her name tattooed on his wrist. He still wore that cologne Alondra so dearly loved, and even years after she passed away, he still called her his wife. He had been told it was an unhealthy habit, once he couldn't get rid of, and he just couldn't get himself to do so. She wasn't his first love, but she was the love of his life, and he didn't see himself with anyone but her. So he focused on raising Luz, the name she wanted to give the baby if it was a girl. She was his world now, and he raised her how he and Alondra would have done it, even teaching her Spanish.

After breakfast, they went upstairs and watched one of Luz favorite movies, which was Coco. She would get so excited, and Sebastian would just proudly look at her, singing with her. She was his anchor, without her he would have drowned. It wasn't the plan, raising her alone, but nothing made him happier than being a father. 

By the end of the movie, they would get ready to visit her. Driving to the cemetery where she laid, Luz never minded going there. It was her way to see the mother she didn't have. So the car ride was filled with silence that felt like home, and when they got there they would just sit and talk, sometimes even having lunch there as a family. Luz would cheerfully tell her mother how school was and the stupid things her father would do, or how she still wanted to pursue acting just like her. Sebastian, on the other hand, would just tell her how much he missed her, how much he loved her, and how work was. His eyes would shed tears every once in a while, imagining what they could have been, if only. 

At night, and this was Luz's favorite tradition, they would decorate two lanterns to light up and let the sky take them away. In Luz's mind, this is how her soul mom would get them in the sky. They would watch them fly away, lost in the sky, and then get inside to get to have hot chocolate, watch another movie, and fall asleep together. 

This was the routine that was repeated on every birthday and anniversary, it was the way Sebastian had found a way to cope with lost with his daughter. Because he never would want her to forget her mother. It was already enough that Luz was bullied for growing up without her, he just wanted her to know how much her mother wanted her, and keep that link alive. And just like Luz favorite saying from one of her favorite movies, "This is my family. I found it, all on my own. It's little, and broken, but still good. Yeah, still good."