Amour. (editing)

Chapter sixteen.

Everyone has that one thin line in their life where they can tolerate certain repeated events, certain people, certain things and certain attitude. The thin line I possess is slowly fading, even if I don't want it to. These constant people visiting, the constant realization of their fabricated smiles and manners, the constant act of sweetness is making me feel low. Like I never meant anything.

But there were two families that were just-different. They weren't fake or had an attitude that just tried to gain benefits for themselves. One was definitely the Styles' family. Not Harry though, I can't seem to get him; even after all the unexpected times we had spent together. And now I'm really not willing to.

Today, I discovered how Xavier and his family had something different about them, how they got near the level of the Styles', just near. Xavier had a handsome smile, which you couldn't resist returning with a nicer one, but you can't.

"I'm kindda hooked with Bon Iver these days." I shrug. "The obsession can be embarrassing."

"Oh no, of course not. That guy is worth the obsession." He chuckles nodding and I nod again smiling. His mother came today, and I met her the first time but Xavier told me she was her step mother, his mother passed when he was just an infant and I try not to show my pity for him. But this fact made me feel closer to him than before for somehow.

"What about you?" I keep my eyes on the boy in front of me instead of the boy who just entered.

"Honestly, I can't pick. But I'm really jamming Coldplay's new album."

"It's totally worth the jamming." I smile and he chuckles at my answer.

"Xavier, hey!" I turn to the source of the voice, regretting as soon as I do.

"Harry!" Xavier grins. "Great to see you again, mate."

I look away from the two men leaning forward to share a manly embrace. My brain capture the word 'again', making me wonder when did they met before.

"Great to see you too. How have you been?" Harry slips his hands in his jeans pockets and I glance at him before turning away.

"Great, how about you?" I felt this urge to leave but then I explain myself how Harry will think I'm walking away from him, I am though but he should be the one walking away; not me. My thoughts are losing their sense by every day.

In this past week, I couldn't quite figure out the reason of the unwanted weight on my chest. It was irritating, its presence infuriated me. It was not the kind where you would say 'I feel guilty' or where regrets are planted in your mind. The feeling can simply be described as 'defeat'. I felt taken aback by his actions and words. Simply by the way he changed his colors.

I hadn't notice how lost I was in my own thoughts until Harry spoke, "I would leave you two now. Real pleasure, see you soon." His eyes land on me for a mere moment before shifting back to the male between us. The both men smile at each other and I watch Harry exit the T.V lounge, not noticing how my eyes were there for quite a long time.

"Great lad, isn't he?" Xavier takes my attention.

I stop myself from giving him in eye roll at his ironic comment. "Sure."

"Not to sound nosy or anything," Xavier gains my attention, "Is there something going on between the two of you? I mean it's completely ok if you don't want to answer that."

I let out a small laugh, "Of course not. What makes you think that?" He shrugs, avoiding my eyes. He has gotten me curious; I don't think I'll be leaving without getting an answer. "Tell me."

"It was just that your sister and I saw you both getting giddy on the dance floor, so when I asked your sister she told me 'if it wasn't obvious'." He mimicked my sister's voice and I let out a chuckle, making an attempt to hide the scarlet color rising on my cheeks. Of course Iris would do that.

"Hey, I don't sound like that." Iris walks from behind him, slapping his arm lightly. He turns to her, surprised, but chuckles along anyway.

I slap Iris' arm. "Tell him it's not true." My eyes connect with the green disturbing contact before turning back to Iris.

She grins up at Xavier, "That's not true." I narrow my eyes at them as the both of them grin at each other.

"Stop seriously." I hate how without much effort their teasing is getting to me.

I was hurt, really hurt and infuriated by Harry's action. I thought back, recalled all the times we had spent together in a simple attempt to understand his intentions, but it was impossible. He was getting impossible. He was playing with me, he was playing with my feelings thinking that it would never affect me but it does, it did every time. I'm done giving him chances, letting him in, even putting thoughts on whatever we could have. I'm aware of the fact that he would be around more than often so all I have do is stop believing in his lies of changing. I have a feeling he realizes that what he did was the end mark of whatever we had.

"Indie, fancy a drink or something?" Iris snaps me out of my daze.

"Water will do." She excuses herself, leaving me and Xavier alone again. I give a glance to the pair of eyes on me, making me uncomfortable. Harry throws an unexpected smile in my direction and I swiftly turn away, trying to pretend I hadn't seen that. I could feel the twisting in the pit of my stomach.

Xavier brings the conversation to life, talking about an embarrassing yet memorable event of his childhood. I had never witnessed someone themselves talking about how stupid they were when they were small, and for this Xavier stands out now. Turn by turn, each of us share a story only to drop us into a fit of laughter.

My eyes catch the sight of my mother, who stood next to my father and Xavier's parents. My laugh seizes and she switches her eyes between the both of us. She chuckles and something his mother had said. I look away, catching my father flashing a smile in my direction, a smile that assured you about something and I was too oblivious to the reason behind it.

Iris came, too early, with a glass of water for me and juice to occupy the both of them. They make conversations and she tells me Gemma and Harry had left and I just shrug it off. I noticed how I am consuming a lot of my thought only in trying to understand people. To understand my parents' attitude and still can't help but make attempts to comprehend Harry's intentions.

{this is gonna be long but please read it. Muslim or not, you're still a human. No one in this world deserves such brutal attitude. I want you guys, for the sake of humanity, to pray for the people suffering in Palestine. Killing a 3 year old in front of thier parents isn't humanity. None of the things happening is near humanity. So please just take a moment to pray for thier peace and freedom. Thank you so much and God may bless you if you do, and if you dont, just think about all that for a moment. You dont have to be Muslim to pray, just be human. Do your own research if you want to, just to make sure. :) i love you.

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