We Could Be Enough - Lams

XX.

I shut the blinds quickly. My back slides down the wall of the cabin. Oh god, do I have to go outside today?

I don't want to face him. I still can't believe that actually happened, but what do you do afterward? Do you go on as normal? Do you have a conversation? Are we technically dating, or does he have to ask?

I don't even want him to ask. I really just want a few days to go by, and he says the passing phrase of 'yeah, my boyfriend's the best' or something like that.

Now, I know this won't actually get to happen if I don't get out of my cabin and talk with him face-to-face.

I brush aside the curtains once more. The sunlight is shining on the concrete sidewalk outside my cabin. I can't see anyone at the moment, but that's only because the view is literally a sidewalk and some trees, not the entire camp.

Do I walk out first, go knock on his door, and walk with him down to breakfast, or does he do that to me? Or do we just go separately and sit right next to each other.

I'm just going to skip breakfast, how 'bout that?

...Oh my god

I never realized. None of our friends know this happened. That would be so weird if I just showed up one day and started kissing Alex right in front of them.

I think I should keep it a secret.

Oh, why is everything so complicated?

No, scratch that.

Why am I making everything so complicated?

I hear the sound of someone knocking on my door. I whip around and look out the window again but drop the curtain the moment I see Alex's face.

shit shit what do I do code red code red help me, please

I don't want to answer it. I'm not ready. Oh, god.

But if I don't answer it, he'd think I was ignoring him because the kiss was awkward. Or he'd think I'd gone down to breakfast without him, making him disappointed. Then, he'd walk down to the cafeteria and realize I'd never left the cabin and that I'd ignored his knocking.

I could just open the door to find out.

Stupid John.

I take a few deep breaths before standing up. Here goes nothing.

I open the door just a crack. I look at Alex for the first time since we kissed last night, and I swear that he has never looked cuter than he does right now. He's wearing a baggy green sweatshirt even though it's really hot out already.

"Hey." He says quietly, his small smile peeking through the crack.

"Hey," I whisper. I don't know why we're being quiet, there's nobody around. I open the door more, just enough for him to squeeze through and enter the cabin. He looks around the room a bit before finally turning back to me.

We don't need words to convey the emotion shared with just one look. He seems so much more at ease at this moment than any other time I've seen him. 

I walk up and wrap my arms around him. I want to feel safe again, away from everything. He doesn't say a word as his arms fall into place, hugging me perfectly.

We stand like this for longer than I can count. My heart rate settles, my breathing steadies. I lean against him, calming myself down. We don't talk, don't make a sound.

I look him in the eyes. They're such a pretty brown, especially in the light of day. Such a pretty brown...

I pull him in slowly. His lips are like heaven, soft and warm and perfect. He hugs me tighter and we stand there, swaying, holding on to each other.