haven ; 𝐛. 𝐛𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐬 , 𝟏

015. calm me down

FIFTEEN—CALM ME DOWN
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THE BOTTOM OF the plate nearly burned my hand as I set it down on the bed, disrupting the peace of his bedroom. Stepping back to flick on the lights to the space, I closed the door and surveyed the area, my eyes landing on Bucky. 

He hadn't moved from his place since I'd entered the room, just kept his back facing me as he sat in one of the two cushioned chairs that furnished the room, his head resting on the back of the seat. With a few steps closer, I could see his legs, stretched out in front of him, crossed at the ankle and perched on the windowsill in front of him. He was just staring at the trees of the forest that kept us from public view, their leaves gently illuminated by the moonlight. It seemed like he didn't realize I'd even entered the room.

But then he shifted his feet and spoke, his tone, scratchy from lack of use, scraping across my fingers, up my arms and grazing my collarbone on its way into my ears. "About time, doll," he said.

Doll. The endearing word caused me to lose my breath, but only for a moment, before I replied, "I came as soon as I could. My parents are night owls, they've never gone to bed earlier than ten o'clock. I would have come sooner if it was possible, I swear."

Bucky stood up, a pair of sweatpants hanging low on his hips, accompanied by a black t-shirt on his upper half. He shrugged. "I wasn't that hungry anyway," he said nonchalantly, but a smirk pulled at the corner of his mouth, giving him away. 

"Just be happy I was able to bring you anything," I joked, crossing my arms and jutting a hip out. "Next time, I might just...forget."

His eyes got wide, displaying mock fear. "You wouldn't." Raising his eyebrows at the hot meal of homemade pizza on his plate, he added, "Aren't you going to yell at me for eating on the bed?"

I rolled my eyes. "Just eat it, old man." I grinned as he sat down, bringing the plate closer to him and took a bite of the pizza. Turning the chair so I would face him, I sat down and stifled a yawn. "When did you get so...laidback?"

Bucky chewed, furrowing his eyebrows at the words. "What do you mean?"

"I mean," I sighed, leaning forward and putting my elbows on my knees, my chin in my hands, "you used to be so uptight about everything. Now, you're...staring out of windows in the dark and watching the trees."

He smirked again, tugging an invisible line between the two of us, making me want to be closer to him, even by just an inch. I leaned even more, something to ease the tugging sensation, but just small enough it would go unnoticed. Even by him. "What can I say, the trees are fascinating."

I raised my eyebrows. "Don't do that. I just want to talk, none of that, 'I don't get affected by anything' crap."

Bucky blinked, flicked his eyes down to his plate, where he'd returned the piece of pizza to look at me. "Sorry," he said softly, folding his hands and holding eye contact with me, so intensely it felt as if a hole was being drilled into my head, "it's just...you calm me down."

My mouth went dry. I swallowed roughly and hung my head, composing myself as best I could before meeting his eyes again. When I did, he was playing with the drawstring of his sweatpants, fiddling like a child would. "I..." I couldn't form a coherent sentence for what felt like an hour. "I calm you down?" 

He let out a humorless chuckle. "Yeah, I know, sounds kind of like bullshit."

I shook my head. "Believe me, it doesn't." I smirked, waiting for him to look at me so he knew I was only joking when I added, "not really."