haven ; 𝐛. 𝐛𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐬 , 𝟏

023. the first time

TWENTY-THREE—THE FIRST TIME
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THE SUN ROSE quietly the next morning, just as it usually did. Nothing had changed in the eyes of Mother Nature; everything was as it had been the last morning, and the morning before that, and the morning before that. Everything was as pristine as it always was. The world went on.

But we were different. We refused to stay the same, balancing in limbo while we watched the world go by and time slowly pass. 

It was quiet in the room when I opened my eyes, my view of the window obstructed by the dark figure lying beside me. His shoulders rose and fell with each breath, a soft sigh coming from his lips as he unconsciously kept himself alive. 

Those lips. Those lips I kissed. I kissed him. And he kissed me. 

My mouth turned up in a small, selfish grin. For that one moment, for that one night, he was mine. But who knew what the morning would turn up?

I lay there for at least a few minutes, with my hands tucked underneath my head as I watched him. His every movement was fascinating to me, none of it escaping my gaze. He was laying on his left side, his lack of an arm nearly impossible to see. Sometimes he'd shift his legs to a more comfortable position, letting out a deep breath before falling back into his deep sleep. 

"You know, it's kind of hard to sleep when you're staring at me, doll."

Okay, maybe he wasn't asleep at all. My cheeks burned with the embarrassment of being caught—or was it something else? Of course, it wouldn't be the first time his old-fashioned nicknames had gotten the better of me. "Why do you do that?" I asked softly. 

He cleared his throat and swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing deliciously in his neck. God, I wanted to kiss that neck. 

Elda. Not now.

"Do what?" He asked, still not opening his eyes or moving from his position. 

I shrugged, though he couldn't see me. "Call me that. What does it mean?"

This time he opened his eyes, cocking an eyebrow. "What do you mean, 'what does it mean?' It's just a nickname."

Rolling my eyes, I shifted so I was facing him. I couldn't help noticing that there were only a few feet of empty space between us. "What, so that's how you got girls into bed during the good old days?" I waited for his own embarrassment to reveal itself on his face, but a smirk took shape on his lips instead.

"Obviously it still works," he smirked and reached out with his hand to gently brush a strand of hair out of my eyes. "Some things never change."

I scoffed. "I don't recall me being the one invited into this bed last night." 

His eyes darkened for a second, clouded over with a decade's worth of agony, but then it was gone in only a moment. "Well, would you look at that, Elda Reid?" He hummed softly. "Things have changed."

Grinning, I threw the covers off of me and sat up, about to touch my feet to the carpet and start making breakfast downstairs. Before I could even sit all the way up, though, he was there, his hand just grazing my shoulder before he dragged it down, overwhelmingly quick, where latched on to my wrist and pulled me back. Unaware of the sudden movement, I fell right into him, my face only inches from his now. 

"Can we just lay here?" His voice was soft and low, causing me to close my eyes as I basked in the beautiful harmonies of his words. "We don't have to do anything, just...sit here with me."

With no words coming to fruition in my mind, I merely nodded, shifting so I was comfortable on my side, looking into those deep blue eyes that had seen more pain and agony than anyone deserved to. It almost made me want to cry. But for a few minutes, I indulged in his request, simply looking at him, focusing on the curl of his lips as he smiled gently at me. 

But then I remembered that time was still passing, I would still have to make breakfast, and I would still have to go grocery shopping for the food we didn't have. 

"Hey," I said softly, relishing in the way his eyes flicked from my lips to my eyes. "We can't just lay here forever. We still have to do stuff today."

He smirked widely, a glint of mischief in his eyes as he reached over and tugged me into his chest. No longer was he a ghost; this version of Bucky I was seeing in front of me was so clearly the man he used to be. It was hard to keep my toes from curling as he whispered hoarsely in my ear, "I could think of a few things to do today."

Chuckling breathlessly, I playfully pushed him away and rolled over to get out of bed. "Come on, Buck," I said, beckoning him to follow me. "It's time you left the house."

He cocked an eyebrow and sat up on one elbow. "Uh, what?"

I nodded. "We'll be fine. But I've got to go grocery shopping, and there's no way I'm letting you sulk by yourself in this house." Sighing, I started my way towards the stairs. "I hope you remember what it's like to feel the sun on your face."

As I left the room, I heard him let out a deep exhale and climb out of bed. He murmured under his breath, the words just loud enough for me to hear. "God, what are you doing to me, doll?"

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soooo...this is nearly two months late. it's fine. junior year has been kicking my ass and i just want to read a book but nanowrimo starts on thursday, so i thought i may as well start writing something again before the first day! so here, hope you enjoyed this really short chapter!

xoxo laura

published on: oct. 29, 2018