Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Chapter One
Emotions are incredible things.
They mould and shape every aspect of our lives; the good, the bad and the in-between. But there's a reason why they're so incredible; they have the ability to both break and destroy you. To push and encourage you. To entirely defeat you.
Perhaps that's why I chose this career, no matter how soul-shattering it was sometimes.
It's all I can think about as I sit in silence, gazing at the man in front of me. His gaze, however, is anywhere but on me, to the corner of the room where I set a large distracting Aloe Vera plant, to the stack of books on the oak bookshelf. If I had to describe a defeated man, it's Liam; with hunched shoulders, dark circles and a grim expression almost etched into the stone contours of his face.
"Liam," I finally call out softly and his head turns towards me, despite the lapse of silence he'd initiated less than five minutes ago. He pushes the contract back onto the table between us and nods, somewhat subdued by his surroundings.
It's my first session with Liam; a thirty-five year old man with more trauma than I can count on both hands. "Did you want to discuss anything with me?" I question.
Liam's dark eyes rest on mine and he shakes his head, "Not really," he responds with. "Seems like you have a fucking load of rules though."
My lips involuntarily quirk up. "They aren't rules, but boundaries for the both of us," I explain. I know Liam does not want to be here – but he had two options; a prison sentence, or counselling. He chose the latter. "Counselling is a partnership between the two of us. We both have to understand and be clear on what outcome is wanted out of this. I will always be honest with you, if you have questions that I am able to answer, I am happy to do so. However, we have to be honest with one another."
There was a reason I always wanted to specialise in Gestalt therapy; other than it being relatable to so many people, it didn't label them – or create a barrier between the patient and counsellor. People like Liam did not want to be labelled by their actions, or way of thinking, but they wanted to be understood. And the fact that I didn't have to pretend around my clients made the process so much easier; I didn't have to pretend things were okay when they weren't and neither did they. Perhaps that's why it was so effective.
Liam's brows raise and he quirks his head to the side, leaning back into his seat. It's hard to not decipher his body language at this moment because I don't know him very well. "Do you think I'm a bloody idiot?"
A breath of silence passes between us.
"I don't know you well enough to come to that sort of conclusion."
His lips quirk up slightly and I internally applaud myself at the response.
Until he's comfortable around me, we won't get anywhere in these sessions but I'm more determined than ever to do exactly that. "I hate lying," he begins with, folding his arms tightly across his chest. "I've lied my entire life, about everything and nothing to everyone around me. So, what you just said about telling the truth instead of spouting crap, I can appreciate that," he pauses for a moment and I sit in silence, waiting for him to continue. "But I also don't know how to not lie."
