Blunderball

Are You There Captain Redundancy? It's Me, Captain Redundancy

"Haven't we already done time travel before?" asked Captain Redundancy, inquisitively.

"Only once," answered Tautology Boy. "Three years go, in 2015."

"Good, good." Captain Redundancy nodded. "Nice and redundant. So what year is it now?"

"67,000,000 BC," said Private Paradox, swinging his machete through the thick Cretaceous foliage. "We appear to have...what's the word?"

"Overshot?" suggested Tautology Boy. "Jumped? Skipped? Missed?" The vengeful masked avenger's sidekick was rather good with synonyms.

"Overshot?" suggested Captain Redundancy himself, since it seemed the most likely option.

"No," said Private Paradox. "What I was going to say was '...deliberately travelled millions of years into the past because my promise of a redundant expedition through time was in fact a ruse devised to ensure you would furnish me with the enriched phlebotinum necessary to make this journey through time and step on a butterfly.'"

"That string of several words is significantly more than one word," observed Tautology Boy.

"Aha!" cried Private Paradox, stepping on a butterfly.

Captain Redundancy took a small jar from inside the time machine and unscrewed the lid. An identical butterfly fluttered out.

"Aha!" cried Private Paradox, swatting it.

Captain Redundancy took a second identical jar from inside the time machine and unscrewed the lid, releasing a third identical butterfly.

"Aha!" cried Private Paradox. Then "Ah, nuts," as he didn't quite manage to swat that one.

"Would you like to attempt another go?" asked Tautology Boy, gesturing to an extremely large pile of butterfly jars sitting inside the time machine. It was a wonder that Private Paradox hadn't noticed them during the journey.

Private Paradox took a grenade from his bandolier, tossed it into the time machine and closed the door.

There was a pause.

Private Paradox thought for a bit, opened the door of the time machine, then pulled the pin out of the grenade and closed the door again.

There was another pause.

Then a boom.

Private Paradox thought a little bit more. It dawned on him that they were now all stuck in the late Cretaceous. It dawned on him also that the two superheroes were staring at him. They knew.

"Hey," he said. "Blowing up the time machine and getting stranded here will probably still alter history in such a way that we never exist and can't travel back to alter history by getting stranded, so it's still pretty paradoxical."

Just then, Private Paradox emerged from some nearby bushes, wielding his machete.

"No," said Private Paradox. " What I was going to say was '...deliberately travelled millions of years into the past because my promise of a redundant expedition through time was in fact a ruse devised to ensure you would furnish me with the enriched phlebotinum necessary to make this journey through time and you made a second redundant trip because of course you did."

"It is the easiest way to obtain a spare time machine with the minimum of difficulty," put in a second Tautology Boy, who emerged from the same bushes.

The two Private Paradoxes performed the legendary solo double facepalm, quite unintentionally.

"Are you there Captain Redundancy?" said a second Captain Redundancy, emerging from the same bushes. "It's me, Captain Redundancy."

"Yes, hello Captain Redundancy," replied Captain Redundancy. "It is indeed me, Captain Redundancy."

"I like that the thing you said is also in the title as well," said the first Tautology Boy to the second Captain Redundancy.

"Wait a minute..." said Captain Redundancy (the first one). "Are we supposed to reference the fact that we're fictional characters?"

"We already did that before: three years ago, in 2015."

"Good, good," the Captain Redundancies nodded. "Nice and redundant."