1
You are Wishes O'Houlihan, top agent of the International Leprechaun Police. Riding atop your mighty steed – a unicorn with a chainsaw for a horn – you are unstoppable.
Your mission is to take down Captain Blokebeard, the most notorious pirate of the North Specific.
...but how?
Parachute in! 2
Speedboat chase! 3
Launch yourself from a cannon! 4
2
Your lunch flies from the pack on your back.
Uh-oh...
You land on the deck at fifty metres per second.
Your steed crashes on top of you a moment later.
I...
Uh...
Gimme a minute... 5
3
Riding atop a unicorn who's riding in a speedboat, you initiate an epic nautical chase and...
...immediately take a harpoon to the face. Your steed steers to Blokebeard's ship alone.
Oof.
That's uh...
Gimme a minute... 5
4
"Fire!" you yell.
Unfortunately you were less than six metres from Blokebeard's ship at the time.
You splatter across the side of it.
Your steed hits the gunk, bounces, and lands ignominously on the deck, looking stunned.
Uh...
Gimme a minute... 5
5
Wait, wait...
Let me think: 6
6
I said let me think! Don't just carry on!
Just carry on: 7
Wait patiently: 8
7
Okay, fine!
You're still Wishes O'Houlihan and you are dead.
Happy now?
~END~
8
That's not waiting!!!
Actually wait patiently: 9
9
That's better.
You are now Clip-clop Von Shinyhooves, and you hunger for meat!
Wreck the deck! 10
Go below: 11
10
There are other unicorns here!
Befriend: 12
Consume!!! 13
11
It's dark.
Find lightswitch: 18
YOU ARE READING
Blunderball
HumorYour mission, should you choose to accept it, is to read these 31 very short stories written for Flash Fiction Month 2018. Some follow the adventures of spies and secret agents, more of them don't, and most are very, very silly. This book will not s...
