ballerina ♤ ed

six

(i know this ain't part of the playlist but this song goes with this chapter and this one deep ya feel me?)

I felt a lump in my throat as I gathered the money I had. Every month I would send my mother three thousand five hundred dollars.

It's the most I could give her at the moment.

I miss her. But I could never show her what I've become. She would be so embarrassed.

I drive over to the building she lives in. I always left the money in their mailbox that's nailed to the door. I go inside the elevator and press the button for the third floor then feel it elevate.

The door opens for the third floor. 305 is the apartment number.

I walk down the hall to the door with the number nailed on.

I quietly open the mailbox and place the stack of money.

I could hear children laugh and running around inside.

My lips started shaking and my face started heating up. I didn't want to let out a loud sob so I began to walk away but I accidentally let go of the mailbox's cover and it make a loud noise, it echoed through the hallway. I tried to run in my heels to the elevator and quickly pressed the button going down.

"C'mon," I kept pressing it until the doors slid open.

I get in and repeatedly press the first floor button.

I hear the door open and I see my mother with my brother in her arm. She opens the mailbox, pulling out the money, "Mira Daniel, para ti y tus hermanas y comida para casa." Then the doors slide close.

(if y'all don't know spanish that's means look Daniel, for you and your sisters and food for home)

I press my lips tight to not hold in my sob again.

I felt so weak right now. Never did I cry this hard these last months. Never did it hit me so hard that I miss my mom and siblings so much.

Never did I miss so much the weekends we bought tacos around the corner and went back home to watch our favorite novela.

Never did I miss my brother and sisters' troublemaking attitudes so much. Our pillow fights at one in the morning then mom walking in on us, telling us to go to sleep. The time I walked them to their first days of elementary school. When we made fucked up pancakes when mom was off to work on the weekends leaving us home alone all day.

I walked back to my car and drove off home going over the speed limit.

Never did I feel so upset over the absence of my mom's support and my siblings' laughter in my life.

♤

i'm gonna go get some ice cream but anyways you'll be finding out more of Alicia's secrets throughout the story from those 10 months in the industry she's in.